How are the guards tonight?


Unless you invested in perimeter golems, guards are people. They have off days, get distracted, and are people. It's unlikely that every guard you meet will be completely on top of things all the time, so roll for their mood when you come up to a guard post. This doesn't replace a reaction roll.


The guards are... (1d8)

  1. Attentive - On guard, doing a good job
  2. Nervous - On guard, overly attentive and jumpy
  3. Distracted - Focused elsewhere (weird noise, disturbing thoughts, personal problems, daydreaming)
  4. Bored - Inattentive, lost in thought, maybe dozing
  5. Grumbling - "Why are we even out here?"
  6. Asleep - Physically there but unconscious
  7. Patrolling - Roll again and they're mobile
  8. Missing

Tiny Coffins Challenge: April

 Welcome back! This month's prompt is:

"waking, hunger, and iron determination"

Early spring is a hard time in nature. The hopeful associations with renewal are something that we attached to the season. Yes, the snow's melting and it's warming up, but there's not much food yet. The winter forage is mostly gone, new plants haven't grown in yet, and most of the small prey is still dormant. The creatures that are active are running on the fumes of their winter stores and have to hold out until there's something to eat. One of the few things that thrives is skunk cabbage. It generates its own heat to melt through the snow and start growing weeks before other plants even sprout. It can survive frosts and drinks in the weak sun like nothing's wrong. The sheer moxie of this plant is breathtaking.

Spell Reeds


Magic is inimical to human life. It consumes the unwary and eventually burns out even the most judicious mage. If overused or worked without proper shielding raw magic will taint its surroundings, rendering the land toxic and unusable for generations. There are several species of plant known to withstand the noxious effects of magic-poisoned soil. Some, such as common spell reed (Phragmites incantus), even thrive and can be employed to reclaim land in the wake of magical disasters or pollution from long-term arcane discharge.

Spell reed is a hyperaccumulator that, when planted in tainted soil, absorbs and condenses any magical residue present. Research shows they are effective in mitigating all forms of arcane phenomena, including even well-contained spellwork such as ancestral curses or enchantments that some may consider beneficial. The condensed mystic power is sequestered within the plant's tissues and may be harvested for proper containment and disposal. As with any such project, the speed at which territory can be rendered safe for habitation varies depending on the severity of the contamination and the number of reeds planted. If following best practices, it is usually possible to reclaim up to an acre of land within 1 to 2 months, though heavily tainted soil may require years of effort.

It is possible to use specially processed spell reed in crafting magical objects or to augment spellwork, but such practices are dangerous and release the concentrated magical energy stored inside the plant. As such, they negate the environmental benefits of cultivating spell reed and are not advised.

-------------------------

Spell reeds:

  • Absorb and condense the latent magic in the soil they're planted in.
  • Process absorbed magic into pure arcane power regardless of what the original flavor was. (Ex: necromantic, illusion, transmutation, etc.)
  • Take 1 to 2 months to grow to maturity and be ready to harvest. (1d30+30 days)
  • Will absorb any magic. Can be used to break enchantments and curses on land. Takes 1 crop of 1000 reeds per level of the spell being broken. (Ex: a 7th level spell can be broken in 1 to 2 months by raising a crop of 7000 reeds, and be broken in 7 to 14 months by raising 7 crops of 1000 reeds)


The refined ashes can be:

  • Used as a power source when enchanting normal items or crafting magical ones. Cut crafting time by 1/2 for every 100 reeds worth of ashes used. (200 reeds cuts time to 1/4, 300 reeds cuts to 1/8, etc.)
  • Ingested, usually as a pill or snorted, to restore expended spells once per day. (Requires 25 reeds worth of ash/level)

Ash abuse is dangerous. If you consume ash more than once a day, for each extra use roll over 50+(# of extra uses * 10) on a d%. On a fail cast fireball on yourself as the stored magical energy breaks free.


If planted in a dead wizard's skull or brain, it will absorb the spells they had memorized at the moment of their death.

  • Slit the harvested reed open, press it flat, and dry it to make a papyrus-like strip with the spell encoded in the ridges of pith. It can be used like a scroll but not copied.
  • Burn the dried reed and consume the ashes to gain the spell directly. It can be copied into a spellbook, but has a 30% chance of being involuntarily cast immediately.


Tiny Coffins Challenge: March

This month's prompt is:

"volatility, predictions, and the slow grind of change"

March might technically be spring, but around here it's still very much winter. The snow's only barely begun to melt, the weather changes by the hour, and the days aren't getting noticeably longer yet. It can be demoralizing, even when you know the season is turning and you just need to be patient. The best sign of change is the birds. When the robins start building nests and the goldfinches turn yellow again you know spring is actually on the way.


d10 Unsettling Natural Phenomena


1 Moss Mist - Opaque green fog banks that carry microscopic fibers and spores of moss in their droplets. Occurs regularly in the spring when the bankmoss reproduces. Homes near where it grows are protected with airtight seals and fine filter meshes. It's safe to go out in it as long as you wear a properly-fitted filter mask, but DO NOT BREATHE IT.

2 Talking Storms - Occur in high winds near certain honeycombed and eroded sandstone canyons. The wind running over and through the rock cavities doesn't just sound like voices, it produces actual human speech. The words are distinct and range anywhere from beautiful choral concerts to horrible things whispered directly into your ears.

3 Inky Rain - These organic deluges happen in late spring when driftcap mushrooms sprout. These inkycap relatives grow lighter-than-air fruiting bodies that break free from their stalks and float on the wind in clouds of thousands. They begin to melt within hours of takeoff, dropping inches of self-digesting spore-bearing black fluid as they go.

4 Giant Lamprey Migration - In mid-autumn the lamprey swim inland from the ocean to spawn, choking waterways of all sizes with their 12'-long squirming grey-white bodies. They're delicious if you can catch one, but DO NOT GO IN THE WATER.

5 Mirror Sky - Occur on warm days over low rolling hills and plains. The still air creates a mirage of the ground below, a perfect reflection complete with exact copies of all the local places and people. If you look straight up, you can see yourself staring back. It feels as if there's a second planet hanging directly overhead, even if you know what's going on.

6 Night Tide - Schools of impenetrably black microscopic diatoms that drink in all light, casting the areas around them into constant night. The schools can be miles wide and come into the shallow waters in high summer, blanketing swathes of coastline in darkness. A tide usually lasts for about a week before the school disperses. The longest on record lasted almost five months.

7 Companion Halos - On cloudy days distinct rings of indigo-violet light form in the sky directly over thinking creatures. Each individual attracts a single halo that follows them perfectly, staying exactly overhead and visible for miles. The halos' size and intensity occasionally change, no one knows why.

8 Sibling Suns - Instead of setting the sun diffracts into many much smaller suns, each a different color. Together they shine their single-hued lights in overlapping cones, casting bizarre vibrant shadows and filtering the world into zones of monochrome. Events occur more frequently the farther north or south you go.

9 Return Frost - In late autumn before the ground freezes extreme overnight cold snaps cause frost heaving so intense it churns the soil and unearths recently-buried corpses. Morning finds the land encrusted in feathery rime and the exhumed bodies impaled on thousands of needle-fine shafts of ice. Areas with frequent return frosts usually create the dead, so bodies found after a frost are deeply suspect.

10 Coffin Rain - Torrential freezing rains that occur in high winter. The water falls and freezes fast enough to trap anything caught outside in a shell of ice a few inches to feet thick. Seek shelter immediately! Buildings in areas that experience regular coffin rains have extremely wide eaves that curve downwards to protect exterior walls from ice buildup.

Fire Tyrant

A massive salamander with the ability to control fire. These intelligent creatures cause chaos by entering a settlement, extinguishing all fires, and refusing to allow new fires to kindle until their demands are met.

Their demands are often strange and inscrutable, running the gamut from strenuous quests (like retrieving a rare food or treasure) to simple favors (like giving a good back scratch).

Aside from their ability to shut down all civilization in a 50 mile radius, Fire Tyrants are usually nonviolent and willing to negotiate, but they're stubborn.

HP: 12d12+12    AC: 19

Resistance: Magic, acid, poison, cold, physical weapons

Immune: Fire


Extinguish - Magically douses as many fires within a 50 mile radius as it wishes. Fires can't be relit without its permission. Affects magical fires.

Flare - Reignites as many fires as it wishes within a 50 mile radius. They suddenly explode causing damage as a fireball spell.

Gentle Smile - Just a big old goofy salamander smile. Gives +7 to its CHA and CHA-based skill checks. Any character with proficiency in Animal Handling who sees the smile must pass a DC 14 WIS save or fall under a Charm Person spell.


Tiny Coffins Challenge: February

Welcome back! This month's prompt is:

"bonds and letting go"

We usually think of bonds in the context of connections to people and not the connections we have to places, objects, and times past. Things that shaped us or anchor us back through time with memories. Your childhood home, the park you used to hang out in, the small collection of cool rocks you picked up over the years, your pet's old collar kept as a memento. What do we draw from those bonds and what happens when we decide it's time to let them fall away?

Have at and have fun!

Tiny Coffins Challenge: January

 Welcome back and happy new year! This month's prompt is:

"waiting, sleep, and the in-between"

I'm all about liminal spaces and states. We're in the heart of winter now, here in the north. It's a time of thresholds and change according to the calendar; but outside most everything is dead or dormant, on pause until the snow melts. Winter is a season-long liminal state while we look forward to spring and a static silent time all its own. Plenty of time to think about all the changes that happen even when things are supposed to be still.

Have at and have fun!

Midwestern Magic

The midwest is goofy. I won't deny it. Revel in it instead. Here are a few midwestern stereotypes and customs boiled down into magic items and a spell.

Bag of Bags
A plastic shopping bag that's always half-full of something you can't quite see. Incredibly lightweight. Anyone can reach into the bag and pull out another plastic shopping bag. The bags are always intact, clean, and from a local store. When a bag is pulled out it might be rolled into a ball, folded into a neat geometric packet, or just kinda wadded up. There are always bags ready to be reused.

Road Map
A detailed map of the local counties printed on durable waterproof paper and folded haphazardly. The locations and roads on it are positioned to show how much time it takes to travel between them instead of accurate distances. It the travel time changes (due to weather, traffic, or other obstacles) the map updates itself to show the new estimates.

Ice Scraper
A 3' long metal handle with a heavy-duty plastic blade set on one end and a combination plastic brush and squeegee attached perpendicularly at the other. Lets the wielder effortlessly clear away ice and snow. Using the scraper for any length of time makes your hands go numb, even if you wore gloves.

Ope!
A versatile spell. It can only be cast as a reaction to something else and the caster has to say "Ope!" out loud for it to work. When you cast it choose one:

  • Smooth over a faux pas. Any rolls related to apologizing get +5 and advantage as you try to excuse yourself.
  • Undo a mistake. Restore an item you broke, un-press a button, un-stub your toe, etc. Only fixes problems the caster caused.
  • Move freely across an area. For one turn get unlimited movement through any type of terrain and occupied spaces without slowing or provoking attacks. To use this effect you have to say "Lemme slip on by ya there." along with the "Ope!" when you cast.

Anyone can learn Ope!

Project Ampersand 2: A Learning Tool

The first thing I noticed about the original text is how focused it is on teaching new players everything. Not just the rules but also the basics of roleplaying. Absolutely basic things like "pick a name for your character" and "your character can have their own personality traits." I suppose I just ignored it before, but looking at it under a microscope like this really drives home how aggressively the publisher was trying to expand their market.

Normally I wouldn't mind. Introducing new people to RPGs is a good thing. Doing it like this though? It's not elegant. If someone is interested enough to get the book and sit down to read it, you've already got their attention. They're putting in the effort to learn, so give them something clear and straightforward to read. The amount of guidance in the original text feels excessive, borderline insulting even.

Players are smart. New players are smart. They don't need a shepherding authority to guide them through a book. They just need a set of rules to work with and the author's trust that, however they end up implementing those rules, they'll do it in a way that's fun.

New players especially do just fine with minimal guidance and bring a staggering level of creativity to the game. They tend to go with what seems like the most fun and consistently knock it out of the park. GMing for newbie players is a blast.

With that in mind I'm cutting out all the text that feels condescending or covers things you could understand by looking at the character sheet for a few seconds. If something is actually necessary to play the game I'll rewrite it to be concise.


Tiny Coffins Challenge: December

First prompt! Let's see how this goes. The format for these will be [prompt] and [what was in my head when I chose it]. The 'what I was thinking' bit isn't part of the prompt, it's just a second serving of me shouting into the void. Run with it or ignore it as you like. 

This month's prompt is:

"trust in the strength of what you stand on"

There are abstract interpretations in that, but for me it's very concrete: The solidity of the actual surface I'm standing on. The sense of sheer mass underfoot when on a slab of exposed bedrock, the perceptible sway and rattle while climbing a lighthouse staircase; but mostly childhood memories of walking out on the ice. Knowing that a foot of ice could support a car and I'm perfectly safe; even though I'm looking down into dozens of feet of dark water that would kill me in minutes if I fell through. And later in life, the heart-stopping realization that I've made a horrible mistake as my boot sinks inches into a patch of spongy, partially-melted ice.

Have at and have fun!

*I'm using #TinyCoffinsChallenge to announce these, so that hashtag exists for real now. Go ahead and use it if you also want to yell on twitter.

Project Ampersand

I've picked up an old project again: I'm un-writing a book.

This is something I started in the spring as a personal challenge and experiment to work on when I ran into blocks on other projects. I'm taking the fifth iteration of the world's best-marketed RPG and editing it for length and clarity. The goal is to see how much I can excise and still have the game feel like the original when you play. So far it turns out I can cut a whole lot. (Page 23 in my working document is the info that's on page 60 in the original text.)

My goals for the experiment are:

1) Determine how much of the 317-page original text is unnecessary padding that doesn't affect the underlying mechanics.

2) See how much of the original game's success comes from the rules and how much is what the players bring to the table with their creativity and enthusiasm. If the pared-down skeleton of the rules plays the same as the original, then the key ingredient is the players.

My process is:

1) Cut out all setting lore and fluff. Anything that's not rules text or something you'd reference while playing is gone.

2) Clean up the remaining text by rewriting it. Remove padding, passive voice, and awkward rule descriptions. Fix whatever's left to be as concise as possible.

Things that are important to maintaining the feel of the original game are exempt. The goal isn't to make the tiniest game I can, it's to make the tiniest game possible while still preserving the original's flavor. If that means it ends up being 100+ pages long, so be it. I'm trying to distill the game to liquor, not evaporate it completely.

I'll do several editing passes before the new game's ready to go. Right now I'm still hacking away at fluff and doing rough work. It's forcing me to take an in-depth look at the game and consider the rules more minutely than I have before. In the past I've always just flipped to the sections of the book I needed and only gave the rest a cursory skim. Going over the entire text line by line has made me realize that hot damn the writing is awful, but there actually are some very good bits buried in the word slog. I just need to dig them out and dust them off.

When I'm done I'm planning to release the distilled version as a free PDF. It'll likely be a way off because while this is an interesting project, it's also exceptionally tedious and time consuming. There'll absolutely be breaks for other writing.

Introducing the Tiny Coffins Challenge

I've been introspecting about the reason I've not posted as much (or at all) this year. It's mostly that my blog content is fueled by my in-person games and the material I make for them. Pandemic hiatuses cut that off and I moved to working on other things like zines and books instead. While I'm not going to force it, I am going to try and post more. Writing small bits and pieces along with the larger projects is probably good for me. I'm also going to start giving challenge prompts. That way even if I fail to write, others might be inspired to create.

Here's how it'll work:

It'll be an informal, open blog-writer's circle. Each month I'll post a prompt and some associations it brings up in my mind. Anyone who wants to can think about it and do something with it. It can be RPG related or not, just so long as you make something. Then over the course of the month everyone can share what they've done and compare where your minds went.

I'm not going to write for the prompts or be involved in any way beyond yelling them into the electronic void in an expression of Tiny Coffins. I may not even look at the results. (Though I likely will if you tell me you wrote something.)

We're too late for a prompt this month, so I'll post the first one in December. Hopefully it'll be fun and we'll see some cool things come from it.

Obviously and as always: Give content warnings as needed and no bigoted or -phobic content.

*If you want to share posts on twitter, maybe try using #TinyCoffinsChallenge. That hashtag doesn't seem to be used for anything.