The first thing I noticed about the original text is how focused it is on teaching new players everything. Not just the rules but also the basics of roleplaying. Absolutely basic things like "pick a name for your character" and "your character can have their own personality traits." I suppose I just ignored it before, but looking at it under a microscope like this really drives home how aggressively the publisher was trying to expand their market.
Normally I wouldn't mind. Introducing new people to RPGs is a good thing. Doing it like this though? It's not elegant. If someone is interested enough to get the book and sit down to read it, you've already got their attention. They're putting in the effort to learn, so give them something clear and straightforward to read. The amount of guidance in the original text feels excessive, borderline insulting even.
Players are smart. New players are smart. They don't need a shepherding authority to guide them through a book. They just need a set of rules to work with and the author's trust that, however they end up implementing those rules, they'll do it in a way that's fun.
New players especially do just fine with minimal guidance and bring a staggering level of creativity to the game. They tend to go with what seems like the most fun and consistently knock it out of the park. GMing for newbie players is a blast.
With that in mind I'm cutting out all the text that feels condescending or covers things you could understand by looking at the character sheet for a few seconds. If something is actually necessary to play the game I'll rewrite it to be concise.
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