1d20 Weird Pets

1 Phoenix chick. Identical to a week-old mallard duckling except with scarlet and orange plumage and gold eyes. Omnivorous, but mostly eats invertebrates and high-protein fat-rich nuts and seeds. Requires dietary supplements of tree resins and charcoal. They're always warm, like a tiny cheeping handwarmer. Grow very slowly, will remain a baby for around 30 years on average. Experiences filial imprinting within 8 hours of hatching.

2 Giant mosquito. Has a delicate, spindly frame with fluffy antenna and an iridescent silver-gray exoskeleton. Pigeon-sized, can be trained to perch on a shoulder and do simple tricks. Only eats nectar, sap, and sugary liquids. Slow and slightly clumsy flier.

3 Miniature death worm. Bright crimson unsegmented nematode the size of a corn snake with a distinctive 3-mandible beak. Found in the most remote desert environments, they're extremely sensitive to water and noise. Overexposure to either causes stress and can provoke defensive behavior in the form of small but painful electric shocks strong enough to fry (or charge) unshielded electronics. Obligate carnivores, they usually ambush prey on the surface, tracking it by sound and pulling it under, but can survive off microbes and insects filtered from the surrounding sand or endure for months in an aestivated state.

4 Hatchling purple worm. Huge and segmented, about 10" in diameter 6' to 10' long with pale lilac skin and a ring of flat black eye spots around the edge of the mouth. They grow roughly 1" in diameter and 1' longer each year if fed regularly and their subdermal chitin plates darken towards royal purple with age. Truly omnivorous, they can eat anything small enough to fit in their mouth. Intelligent and friendly, young worms have a personality like a golden retriever and respond well to training.

5 Baby bunny. Tiny and adorable. The littlest, fluffiest, most precious critter you've ever seen in your life. They're cuddly, friendly, and completely unafraid of even the most obvious dangers and predators. Diet is leafy greens with the occasional root vegetable as a treat, but will try to eat anything they can get at and chew on whether it's edible or not. Require a blood meal on every new moon or they become unmanageable. The ones that survive to maturity become prophet hares.

6 Prophet hare. Long almost distended limbs, lean even by hare standards. Huge ears and intense eyes. They can eat any type of plant material but must maintain a strict diet of only fruit, nuts, and seeds in order to receive visions. They're extremely fast with impressive endurance but spend most of their time sitting still staring into the distance and occasionally twitching with contained energy. Communicate their visions through jumping "dances." While the visions are usually correct, accurately interpreting the dances is difficult and takes skill. Older hares will sometimes speak but only one word at a time.

7 Teakettler. Rotund, 3-legged, and vaguely canine as if someone combined a corgi, raccoon, and copper cauldron. Omnivorous, eats primarily small mammals, crayfish, berries, and metal salts. They're extremely shy and anxious but can be friendly with people they know and trust. Shriek like a boiling tea kettle and let out plumes of steam when upset or excited. They always walk backwards, can run at high speeds, and only sometimes bump into things.

8 Passager pigeon. Parchment-colored plumage with speckled bands of charcoal and black across the wings and an iridescent red patch down the front of the neck and chest. Ink black eyes, beak, and legs. Eats tree nuts and seeds, but can survive on fruit, grain, or insects if needed. Known for their calm, alert, almost judgmental demeanor. While unable to speak they can instinctively understand languages on exposure, read, remember texts, and can be trained to write.

9 Tortoise. Chunky, ungainly, and adorable yet oddly dignified. Their high-domed shells are brightly patterned and very dense, making them difficult to transport as they grow older and larger. Strict herbivores, they can only eat leafy greens and grasses with flowers and fruit as a treat. Can go several months without food or water. They're generally harmless but can run surprisingly fast when they want. Body slam perceived threats in self-defense and bite as a last resort. Will outlive you, your children, and your children's children. 1-in-10 chance it's actually a young giant tortoise. 1-in-4 chance it's a polymorphed wizard.

10 Snapping turtle. Flat and rough with spikes, claws, and an unblinking gaze. Carnivorous, they'll eat anything that moves, biting first and asking questions later. They're foul tempered, aggressive, lightning fast, and stink. Sometimes they'll hiss before striking, but usually just bite whatever's bothering them. Everything bothers them. Can easily take fingers and toes. Live for decades. 5-in-8 chance it's a polymorphed wizard.

11 Giant tree frog. Masters of camouflage able to change the color and texture of their skin at will with chromatophores and specialized subdermal muscles. Potential colors range from the deadwood grays and browns of the forest floor through every shade of green in solids and ad-hoc patterns. It's extremely effective in the northern temperate megaforest they're from, but not as much elsewhere. Cat-sized. They're crepuscular-nocturnal, sing at night, and can climb on any surface able to support their weight. Usually calm and low-energy, but will jump unexpectedly in random directions at high speed. Carnivorous and opportunistic, they'll eat any meat small enough to fit in their mouth. Their skin secretes irritating oils, wash hands thoroughly after handling and don't touch your eyes or any mucus membranes. 1-in-12 chance of being a wizard. 3-in-8 chance it's a polymorphed normal person, may or may not have deserved it.

12 Land urchin. Identical to their marine cousins except for the adaptations needed for a terrestrial life and indeterminate growth. Most are shades of purple, black, or red, but there are fancy domesticated breeds in practically every color. They're usually ping-pong to racquet ball sized with toothpick spines, but older specimens can easily grow as big as a beach ball with spikes like knitting needles. Herbivores, they'll eat any plant material available and scour entire landscapes to bare dirt if left unchecked. They don't have much personality, but enjoy burrowing and climbing into crevices and are very difficult to dislodge once they've anchored themselves with their tube feet. Some breeds are extremely venomous. Considered a dangerous invasive species in many jurisdictions and require permits and registration to own where they're not outright illegal.

13 Walking bonsai. Normal miniaturized trees with a distinct rust orange cast to their foliage. Can be any species though evergreens and deciduous broadleafs like maples, beeches, and elms do best. They're actually a symbiotic system of a host tree and a bacterial colony inhabiting it. The tree provides the bacteria with shelter and photosynthetic sugar and in return the bacteria makes it mobile, moving to areas with high sunlight and water and away from predators and threats. They don't think in any way we'd recognize, but are aware of their surroundings and can recognize individuals as well as danger. Photosynthetic, just provide water, fertilizer, and a tray of clean soil for it to rest in. Impossible to overwater, if the soil is too damp they'll just pull up their roots and move. Need to be pruned regularly but carefully so it doesn't learn to see you as a threat. Overgrowth is unhealthy for them and full-sized walking trees are extremely dangerous. They can be pruned, wired, and carved into specific shapes without harming them but it requires much more attention and upkeep. All of a tree's tissue (leaves, needles, fruit, sap, resin, etc) contains a culture of the symbiotic bacteria that can infect (or purposely inoculate) other trees.

14 Coyote. Easily mistaken for a disreputable dog or small wolf with coats ranging from light gray-tan to dark brown. Carnivorous, eats whatever it can catch or scavenge and sometimes fruits or vegetables if it feels like it. Tempermental, independent, and extremely intelligent. They learn quickly, can problem-solve on their own, understand most language, and are ridiculously easy to train but only cooperate if they want to. Mischievous little jerks that like playing pranks but mostly mean well. Nocturnal. Howl. 1-in-100 chance it's actually that Coyote.

15 Colossal jumping spider. Fuzzy with a velvet black undercoat, ash gray topcoat, and brilliant metallic stripes across the face and abdomen. The stripe patterns and colors are unique to individuals like a fingerprint. UV reactive. Huge soulful eyes. Their average size is between a fat squirrel and small raccoon, but they can grow as big as a bull moose if they have help molting and enough food. Obligate carnivore, eats bugs, fish, small mammals, birds, anything high in fat and protein. The exact prey varies depending on the individual spider's size. They can jump up to 27 times their body length, spin silk, and climb on any surface that can hold their weight but have trouble with wet glass and ceramic. Extremely smart and social. They're friendly to people and other spiders, recognize individuals, and form bonds with favorites. Will do things if asked but don't really understand the concept of tricks. Regularly give gifts of food or random found objects. Dance to communicate and also just for fun, it can be hard to tell the difference.

16 Juvenile flail snail. Huge land snails with translucent purple-white mottled skin, ornate metal and mineral-striated shells, and uniquely adapted eyestalks with heavy metallic pearl cores. Omnivorous scavenger, prefers slightly decayed plant matter and meat when it's available. They seek out bones, eggs, and calcium-rich stones to strengthen their shells. Require regular dietary supplements of treasure. Their growth rate depends on the amount of precious metals and gems in their diet. They live for centuries and grow slowly even with good nutrition. Rarely get over 2' long before 60 years. Require moisture and regular bathing to stay properly hydrated and healthy. They're generally peaceful and only attack in self-defense, but will charge knights and act aggressively towards people in plate, even if it's someone they know. Even small snails have enough force behind their eyestalks to crack skulls, break bones, and crush small animals. Deceptively fast, can outcrawl a horse at a sprint. Slime has medicinal properties as a general antibiotic, antiviral, antifungal, burn salve, and purgative. Salt-resistant.

17 Cyclic ibis. Synthetic crystalline birds modeled after scarlet ibis. Plumage colors cover the entire spectrum and all different tints and shades. Beak, legs, eyes, and the tips of the pinion feathers are void-black. Juvenile plumage is gray. Thaumavore, they filter-feed on ambient magic and don't consume physical matter. Despite that they'll do whatever's necessary to obtain fries. They were designed to be as close to real birds in appearance and behavior as possible, and aside from a few unavoidable quirks they're a huge success. Have a phoenix-esque lifecycle. When they die their corpse sublimates into crystalline mist that eventually condenses into a new egg. Growth and development are the same as a natural ibis otherwise.

18 Hermit crab. Soft-bodied, most common in shades of orange, red, and brown but also found in purples and blues. Need progressively larger shells to wear as they grow and have been found using all types of natural shells as well as man-made items like flowerpots and 55-gallon drums. Omnivorous scavengers, will eat anything they can tear apart with their claws. Need to stay warm and damp to breathe. They're timid and don't like being handled. Pinch and withdraw into their shells when startled. Can live for decades. 3-in-100 chance it's actually a minor god or guardian spirit.

19 Anteater. Oddly elongated but adorable with a shaggy gray coat, cream forelegs, and a distinctive black stripe across the chest and shoulders. Can grow up to 7' long. Insectivore, eats mostly ants and termites but likes larva and grubs of other species too. Can survive on other fat and protein-rich foods like eggs, ground meat, and milk if it's prepared as a slurpable near-liquid slurry. Need brushing and bathing to keep their coat clean. Hate baths. They have an excellent sense of smell and hearing, but terrible vision. Solitary and territorial, don't tolerate other anteaters. Generally slow but can move fast when needed. Deceptively strong, can tear open concrete with their claws. They'll use them for self-defense but will posture and threaten first, standing up on their hind legs with their arms out.

20 Dire silkmoth. Very similar to domestic silkmoths except big and more dramatically patterned. The worms hatch from marble-sized amber eggs and grow to around 2' long, molting 8 times before spinning a watermelon-sized cocoon and metamorphosing into the adult moth. The adults are extremely fluffy, mostly white and cream with prominent black and gray eyespots and brilliant vermillion underwings. The average adult specimen weighs 16 lbs with a 5' to 6' wingspan. Folivore, they eat only mulberry and oak leaves. The adults do eat, but infrequently. The larva are voracious. Relatively short-lived. Most people raise them through their entire 4-year lifecycle from egg to adult. They're decent fliers. Not terribly bright, but so cute. Killing or injuring them is a considered a mortal sin in many religions.

Sight Hounds

Sight hounds are artificial creatures created through a combination of obscure but well-documented alchemic processes. Their exact appearance varies between manufacturers and depends on the mix of sample tissues used in growing them, but most sight hounds look like mid-sized dogs with pointy ears, fluffy coats, curled tails, and large blocky heads. The common feature they all have is the villi array.

The top of a sight hound's head and neck from the top of their muzzle to their withers is covered in a dense pelt of sensory tentacles and villi that let them see and track energy fields and abstract concepts. They have rudimentary eyes at the ends of the stalks to avoid running into obstacles, but most of their vision isn't aimed at the physical world.

Making sight hounds is cheap, but training them is difficult and expensive. It takes a skilled trainer to teach a hound to recognize what a lie looks like, the exact shades of different types of magic, or the nuances of the electromagnetic spectrum. The best of them graft on a rudimentary villi array of their own, replacing an eye and section of skull with the new sensory organ to better understand what their charges see.

Emotion is the one thing all sight hounds instinctively understand. When you're happy, they know. When you're scared, they know. And when you say they're good, they know you mean it.

Architectural Mimics

Everyone who's ever delved in a dungeon knows treasure chest mimics (Mendax arca). They're the most common and successful species of mimic in the dungeon ecosystem thanks to their highly effective bait, but the average dungeon is home to other, rarer species of mimic as well.

Architectural mimics inhabit dungeons alongside their flashier cousins and often go unnoticed due to their excellent camouflage. Their stealth and the wide variety in their hunting methods make them much more dangerous than sessile Chest Mimics. They're faster, more tenacious, and much more intelligent; often choosing specific targets instead of blindly attacking the first prey to wander close. Species in the architectural genus also regularly cooperate, living in mutualistic and commensal symbiosis with each other and other dungeon fauna and, in the case of Statue Mimics, hunting in packs.

While the odds of encountering one of these fascinating creatures is low, it's wise to keep a careful eye on your surroundings. Anything you see could be a mimic lying in wait.

All mimics require a:

DC 17 DEX save to avoid their initial ambush/getting grabbed
DC 16 STR check to break free once grabbed/entangled
DC 15 CON save to resist their venoms/toxins


1 Brick (Calumnia elidocaput)
Replace individual bricks and masonry elements in walls and ceilings. When prey passes below they leap down aiming for the head. Sometimes they live in floors and cause falls by shifting violently underfoot, but prefer a gravity-assisted ambush. Exactly as heavy as a brick. (1d12 damage)

2 Beams (Calumnia destructans)
Replace load-bearing structures like trusses and support pillars, then use their own weight as well as the collapsing rubble to crush prey. (3d12 damage)

3 Pillar (Calumnia incingodes)
Wraps itself around existing pillars in a thick skin that looks like carved stone. Occasionally have spots of faux cut gems and precious metals to make themselves even more alluring. When prey comes to examine the carvings it peels away from the column and falls, pinning the prey under a suffocating sheet of muscle. (1d8 damage/turn)

4 Arch (Calumnia fornixae)
Lines the inner surface of existing arches and exudes fine, nearly invisible threads coated with cnidocysts. Crawls down to devour paralyzed prey after they walk through its web. (1 CON damage, save or be paralyzed for 6 turns)

5 Door (Calumnia portico)
Embeds itself in walls leaving only its jaw-panel and lip-jambs visible. When prey opens its jaw it strikes with sets of inner pharengeal jaws to grab and draw them in. (3d6 damage/turn)

6 Trapdoor (Calumnia operculata)
Embeds itself mouth-up in the floor and waits for prey to investigate. The jaw looks like a concealed hatch and the first 10' of its esophagus resembles a stone shaft with a sturdy ladder. Snaps its mouth shut and starts chewing once prey is fully inside. (2d6 damage/turn)

7 Flooring (Calumnia tenax)
A communal species that replaces sections of planks, tiles, stones, and other joined floor materials. They secrete a sticky, numbing mucus that traps and slowly digests prey. (DEX save to not fall over, CON save to resist going numb, STR save to break free)

8 Mosaic (Confictura tessellatus)
Adheres to floors, walls, and ceilings. Lays dormant until it senses heat, then leaps off the surface it's on to engulf the prey and grind them to paste with its sharp radula-like tiles. (1d10 damage/round)

9 Stairs (Calumnia vorago)
Graft themselves between floors and hibernate until prey climbs on them. When they sense weight they open their mouths, retracting pseudo-step teeth to drop prey into their waiting stomach. They prefer large meals and rarely eat individual prey, targeting groups of two or three instead. The weight threshold needed to attract their attention is high. (2d12 damage/turn, STR save to climb out)

10 Railing (Calumnia cancelli)
Replaces banisters, safety rails, and low walls. They prefer locations near sheer drops, the more precipitous the better, but can be found anywhere. They lay dormant until prey leans on them. When they sense weight their either give way so the prey falls to their death, or entangle limbs and inject a paralytic venom depending on the subspecies. (Save or 1d20+5 fall damage) OR (Save or be paralyzed, 1d4 damage/turn)

11 Pipes (Calumnia fistulata)
Insinuate themselves in the plumbing of a building. They passively carry whatever the system transports until they sense prey, then spray their contents in a surprise attack. Capable of withstanding extreme temperatures, pressure, and corrosives. Occasionally replace sinks with mouths. (Save or be drenched in and damaged by pipe contents)

12 Gutter (Calumnia fistulata canalis)
Related to Pipe Mimics and sometimes thought to be a larval instar. They attach to the edges of roofs and embed near walkways, collecting runoff and mixing it with digestive juices to produce a rank slurry they spray on passing prey. (1d12 acid damage)

13 Sewer (Fictus cloacarius)
Giant wormlike mimics that burrow under cities. Their guts resemble spacious stone masonry tunnels and can actually function as sewers. They rely on the sewer ecosystem they host for sustenance and aren't particularly interested in individual adventurers. It's uncertain if they even notice a single humanoid's presence at all. When seriously irritated or injured they can contract their passages and crush everything inside. (Contracts if it takes 100 damage at once, 300 in an hour, 1000 in a day, or 3000 in a month.)

14 Fountain (Fictus immergo)
Plants itself near a source of running water to fill its basin. It's an opportunistic feeder and mostly relies on the insects, birds, and small animals that are drawn by an open pool of water, but will eagerly snare and drown larger prey. (Save to break free or drown in 6 rounds)

15 Window (Calumnia prospectans)
Embed themselves in walls and display high-resolution decoy images of an outside world using a sophisticated combination of chromatophores and bioluminescence. When prey tries to look through or open them they spring off the wall and engulf it in a sticky, membranous digestive sac. (Save to break free or suffocate in 3 rounds)

16 Mirror (Confictura indico)
Adhere to walls and doors. They can attack by flinging shards of crystalline exoskeleton but rarely break cover. They hunt cooperatively with other monsters, distracting prey with a false reflection of their surroundings that edits out any threats. Once the other monsters have finished they crawl down to scavenge the remains. (-2 to detecting ambushes and hidden creatures)

17 Light fixture (Confictura lucerae)
Come in a wide variety of forms from grand chandeliers to freestanding floor lamps to tiny sconces and table lamps. They're entirely peaceful decomposers that don't hunt. Easily startled and shy, they light up in alarm when creatures move nearby and flash blindingly when frightened. The can be calmed back to darkness with food. (Roll 3x as many encounters while lit)

18 Wallpaper (Confictura ornata)
Coats the walls of a room in a thin, tough layer of opaque tissue. The skin is porous, providing a habitat for symbiotic molds to grow inside, which produces a distinctive musty smell. When prey comes near it ripples, releasing clouds of toxic spores from its symbionts. (1 WIS damage, save or hallucinate for 6 turns)

19 Soft furnishings (Confictura stragula)
A communal species of threadlike individuals intertwined in soft nest-sheets. Their flexible multicolored bodies let them convincingly reproduce all kinds of textiles, from rugs to curtains to tapestries. When prey touches the nest it unfurls, individuals spooling out to entangle and garrote them. (1d6 damage/turn, save to break free or suffocate in 6 turns)

20 Statue (Confictura effigus)
The most mobile and energetic species of mimic. They hide inside their ornate sculptural exoskeletons and wait for prey to pass by, then begin actively stalking. They're stealthy and prefer to attack from ambush but will run down prey in a high-speed chase if necessary.
Often confused with Living Statues, statue mimics are flesh and blood creatures in shells, not awakened art.
(4HD, 17 AC, 60', 3 attacks/turn (1d10/1d10/1d12+4))


Extra rare!

Treasure (Confictura preciosa)
These small mimics look like individual artifacts and pieces of treasure. They hibernate until they sense heat, then become active and emerge from their shells. Usually the "treasure" portion of their body is an elaborate exoskeleton, but you'll occasionally find them living inside an actual hollow artifact like a hermit crab. They're curious, relatively gentle, and can be interesting pets if fed and cared for properly.

Gelatinous Tubes

A domesticated variant of the gelatinous cube selectively bred to have a cylindrical shape. They're commonly raised and trained by plumbers to clear severe clogs and blockages. Fancy varieties are kept as pets in elaborate glass pipe terrariums.

Sometimes they escape down drains into the sewers where they grow unchecked to fit inside the larger diameter pipes. Feral gelatinous tubes are a major source of problems in cities causing damage to infrastructure, flooding, and rat infestations as the rodents flee to the surface to escape.

Meringue

Meringue is a little egg, aware and friendly inside her shell. One day she'll hatch into something, but until then she needs to be kept warm and protected from getting squished.

"She's wiggling again."
Meringue can sense when invisible, magical, and concealed things are near and wiggles in response. She doesn't need eyes to help her friends.

"Hey, is that a crack?"
Meringue starts with a d30 usage die. Roll every time she detects something. When the die is depleted she hatches into a…

1 Duck
2 Goose
3 Swallow
4 Kestrel
5 Falcon
6 Owl
7 Hummingbird
8 Heron
9 Cormorant
10 Kingfisher
11 Sandpiper
12 Kiwi
13 Cassowary
14 Velociraptor
15 Ankylosaurus
16 Caiman
17 Iguana
18 Gecko
19 Tortoise
20 Rat snake
21 Python
22 Stick bug
23 Stag beetle
24 Preying mantis
25 Jumping spider
26 Fly
27 Dragonfly
28 Moth
29 Bumblebee
30 Wasp

If you roll an insect, roll a d8 to see if she's:
1-3 Normal-sized
4-5 Cat-sized
6 Dog-sized
7 Human-sized
8 Horse-sized

Roscoe

Roscoe is an exceptionally large mastiff. He's not very bright and is terrified of loud noises (like combat), but he's very gentle and loyal. No one owns Roscoe. He's his own dog, but he'll stay with the party through any hardship. Roscoe loves belly rubs and pets, thinks he's a lap dog, and he will slobber on you. 

"Good boy"

Roscoe's solid presence and encouraging boofs give an advantage to saves against fear. He won't fight but he'll stand by and bark supportively. He won't let himself be hit by enemies and he won't abandon his people. 

"What's wrong, boy?"

His keen senses let him detect threats and alert friends with a warning boof. The party can't be ambushed while Roscoe is with them. If there's an opportunity to hide, the party can use Roscoe's warning to prepare and get a surprise round against approaching enemies.

"Roscoe? What are you eating? What's in your mouth?! Roscoe! Spit it out!"

Roscoe has a habit of rooting around and scarfing down random things. Occasionally he throws them back up. When the party stops for a rest or runs into an obstacle there's a 40% chance Roscoe will throw up something unlikely, but useful, he's eaten. It will be completely spit-covered. 

Unlikely-But-Useful Things (d12)

1) Ring

2) Marbles (small pouch of 10)

3) Folding pocket knife

4) Pocket first aid kit (waterproof)

5) Chalk (box of three sticks)

6) Wax paper (smells like meat/cheese)

7) Key

8) Small coil of wire (3')

9) Coin

10) Gem

11) Stoppered glass vial (oil, water, holy water, alcohol, empty, unknown potion)

12) Cake of beeswax

Roll one D12 to see if the item is:

1 - 6 Mundane

7 - 10 High quality or made with precious materials

11 - 12 Magic

When bringing up an item, Roscoe makes audible horking noises that may alert nearby creatures.

(Roscoe is originally from an item I contributed to a list of d30 followers in the OSR discord.)