1d20 Weird Pets

1 Phoenix chick. Identical to a week-old mallard duckling except with scarlet and orange plumage and gold eyes. Omnivorous, but mostly eats invertebrates and high-protein fat-rich nuts and seeds. Requires dietary supplements of tree resins and charcoal. They're always warm, like a tiny cheeping handwarmer. Grow very slowly, will remain a baby for around 30 years on average. Experiences filial imprinting within 8 hours of hatching.

2 Giant mosquito. Has a delicate, spindly frame with fluffy antenna and an iridescent silver-gray exoskeleton. Pigeon-sized, can be trained to perch on a shoulder and do simple tricks. Only eats nectar, sap, and sugary liquids. Slow and slightly clumsy flier.

3 Miniature death worm. Bright crimson unsegmented nematode the size of a corn snake with a distinctive 3-mandible beak. Found in the most remote desert environments, they're extremely sensitive to water and noise. Overexposure to either causes stress and can provoke defensive behavior in the form of small but painful electric shocks strong enough to fry (or charge) unshielded electronics. Obligate carnivores, they usually ambush prey on the surface, tracking it by sound and pulling it under, but can survive off microbes and insects filtered from the surrounding sand or endure for months in an aestivated state.

4 Hatchling purple worm. Huge and segmented, about 10" in diameter 6' to 10' long with pale lilac skin and a ring of flat black eye spots around the edge of the mouth. They grow roughly 1" in diameter and 1' longer each year if fed regularly and their subdermal chitin plates darken towards royal purple with age. Truly omnivorous, they can eat anything small enough to fit in their mouth. Intelligent and friendly, young worms have a personality like a golden retriever and respond well to training.

5 Baby bunny. Tiny and adorable. The littlest, fluffiest, most precious critter you've ever seen in your life. They're cuddly, friendly, and completely unafraid of even the most obvious dangers and predators. Diet is leafy greens with the occasional root vegetable as a treat, but will try to eat anything they can get at and chew on whether it's edible or not. Require a blood meal on every new moon or they become unmanageable. The ones that survive to maturity become prophet hares.

6 Prophet hare. Long almost distended limbs, lean even by hare standards. Huge ears and intense eyes. They can eat any type of plant material but must maintain a strict diet of only fruit, nuts, and seeds in order to receive visions. They're extremely fast with impressive endurance but spend most of their time sitting still staring into the distance and occasionally twitching with contained energy. Communicate their visions through jumping "dances." While the visions are usually correct, accurately interpreting the dances is difficult and takes skill. Older hares will sometimes speak but only one word at a time.

7 Teakettler. Rotund, 3-legged, and vaguely canine as if someone combined a corgi, raccoon, and copper cauldron. Omnivorous, eats primarily small mammals, crayfish, berries, and metal salts. They're extremely shy and anxious but can be friendly with people they know and trust. Shriek like a boiling tea kettle and let out plumes of steam when upset or excited. They always walk backwards, can run at high speeds, and only sometimes bump into things.

8 Passager pigeon. Parchment-colored plumage with speckled bands of charcoal and black across the wings and an iridescent red patch down the front of the neck and chest. Ink black eyes, beak, and legs. Eats tree nuts and seeds, but can survive on fruit, grain, or insects if needed. Known for their calm, alert, almost judgmental demeanor. While unable to speak they can instinctively understand languages on exposure, read, remember texts, and can be trained to write.

9 Tortoise. Chunky, ungainly, and adorable yet oddly dignified. Their high-domed shells are brightly patterned and very dense, making them difficult to transport as they grow older and larger. Strict herbivores, they can only eat leafy greens and grasses with flowers and fruit as a treat. Can go several months without food or water. They're generally harmless but can run surprisingly fast when they want. Body slam perceived threats in self-defense and bite as a last resort. Will outlive you, your children, and your children's children. 1-in-10 chance it's actually a young giant tortoise. 1-in-4 chance it's a polymorphed wizard.

10 Snapping turtle. Flat and rough with spikes, claws, and an unblinking gaze. Carnivorous, they'll eat anything that moves, biting first and asking questions later. They're foul tempered, aggressive, lightning fast, and stink. Sometimes they'll hiss before striking, but usually just bite whatever's bothering them. Everything bothers them. Can easily take fingers and toes. Live for decades. 5-in-8 chance it's a polymorphed wizard.

11 Giant tree frog. Masters of camouflage able to change the color and texture of their skin at will with chromatophores and specialized subdermal muscles. Potential colors range from the deadwood grays and browns of the forest floor through every shade of green in solids and ad-hoc patterns. It's extremely effective in the northern temperate megaforest they're from, but not as much elsewhere. Cat-sized. They're crepuscular-nocturnal, sing at night, and can climb on any surface able to support their weight. Usually calm and low-energy, but will jump unexpectedly in random directions at high speed. Carnivorous and opportunistic, they'll eat any meat small enough to fit in their mouth. Their skin secretes irritating oils, wash hands thoroughly after handling and don't touch your eyes or any mucus membranes. 1-in-12 chance of being a wizard. 3-in-8 chance it's a polymorphed normal person, may or may not have deserved it.

12 Land urchin. Identical to their marine cousins except for the adaptations needed for a terrestrial life and indeterminate growth. Most are shades of purple, black, or red, but there are fancy domesticated breeds in practically every color. They're usually ping-pong to racquet ball sized with toothpick spines, but older specimens can easily grow as big as a beach ball with spikes like knitting needles. Herbivores, they'll eat any plant material available and scour entire landscapes to bare dirt if left unchecked. They don't have much personality, but enjoy burrowing and climbing into crevices and are very difficult to dislodge once they've anchored themselves with their tube feet. Some breeds are extremely venomous. Considered a dangerous invasive species in many jurisdictions and require permits and registration to own where they're not outright illegal.

13 Walking bonsai. Normal miniaturized trees with a distinct rust orange cast to their foliage. Can be any species though evergreens and deciduous broadleafs like maples, beeches, and elms do best. They're actually a symbiotic system of a host tree and a bacterial colony inhabiting it. The tree provides the bacteria with shelter and photosynthetic sugar and in return the bacteria makes it mobile, moving to areas with high sunlight and water and away from predators and threats. They don't think in any way we'd recognize, but are aware of their surroundings and can recognize individuals as well as danger. Photosynthetic, just provide water, fertilizer, and a tray of clean soil for it to rest in. Impossible to overwater, if the soil is too damp they'll just pull up their roots and move. Need to be pruned regularly but carefully so it doesn't learn to see you as a threat. Overgrowth is unhealthy for them and full-sized walking trees are extremely dangerous. They can be pruned, wired, and carved into specific shapes without harming them but it requires much more attention and upkeep. All of a tree's tissue (leaves, needles, fruit, sap, resin, etc) contains a culture of the symbiotic bacteria that can infect (or purposely inoculate) other trees.

14 Coyote. Easily mistaken for a disreputable dog or small wolf with coats ranging from light gray-tan to dark brown. Carnivorous, eats whatever it can catch or scavenge and sometimes fruits or vegetables if it feels like it. Tempermental, independent, and extremely intelligent. They learn quickly, can problem-solve on their own, understand most language, and are ridiculously easy to train but only cooperate if they want to. Mischievous little jerks that like playing pranks but mostly mean well. Nocturnal. Howl. 1-in-100 chance it's actually that Coyote.

15 Colossal jumping spider. Fuzzy with a velvet black undercoat, ash gray topcoat, and brilliant metallic stripes across the face and abdomen. The stripe patterns and colors are unique to individuals like a fingerprint. UV reactive. Huge soulful eyes. Their average size is between a fat squirrel and small raccoon, but they can grow as big as a bull moose if they have help molting and enough food. Obligate carnivore, eats bugs, fish, small mammals, birds, anything high in fat and protein. The exact prey varies depending on the individual spider's size. They can jump up to 27 times their body length, spin silk, and climb on any surface that can hold their weight but have trouble with wet glass and ceramic. Extremely smart and social. They're friendly to people and other spiders, recognize individuals, and form bonds with favorites. Will do things if asked but don't really understand the concept of tricks. Regularly give gifts of food or random found objects. Dance to communicate and also just for fun, it can be hard to tell the difference.

16 Juvenile flail snail. Huge land snails with translucent purple-white mottled skin, ornate metal and mineral-striated shells, and uniquely adapted eyestalks with heavy metallic pearl cores. Omnivorous scavenger, prefers slightly decayed plant matter and meat when it's available. They seek out bones, eggs, and calcium-rich stones to strengthen their shells. Require regular dietary supplements of treasure. Their growth rate depends on the amount of precious metals and gems in their diet. They live for centuries and grow slowly even with good nutrition. Rarely get over 2' long before 60 years. Require moisture and regular bathing to stay properly hydrated and healthy. They're generally peaceful and only attack in self-defense, but will charge knights and act aggressively towards people in plate, even if it's someone they know. Even small snails have enough force behind their eyestalks to crack skulls, break bones, and crush small animals. Deceptively fast, can outcrawl a horse at a sprint. Slime has medicinal properties as a general antibiotic, antiviral, antifungal, burn salve, and purgative. Salt-resistant.

17 Cyclic ibis. Synthetic crystalline birds modeled after scarlet ibis. Plumage colors cover the entire spectrum and all different tints and shades. Beak, legs, eyes, and the tips of the pinion feathers are void-black. Juvenile plumage is gray. Thaumavore, they filter-feed on ambient magic and don't consume physical matter. Despite that they'll do whatever's necessary to obtain fries. They were designed to be as close to real birds in appearance and behavior as possible, and aside from a few unavoidable quirks they're a huge success. Have a phoenix-esque lifecycle. When they die their corpse sublimates into crystalline mist that eventually condenses into a new egg. Growth and development are the same as a natural ibis otherwise.

18 Hermit crab. Soft-bodied, most common in shades of orange, red, and brown but also found in purples and blues. Need progressively larger shells to wear as they grow and have been found using all types of natural shells as well as man-made items like flowerpots and 55-gallon drums. Omnivorous scavengers, will eat anything they can tear apart with their claws. Need to stay warm and damp to breathe. They're timid and don't like being handled. Pinch and withdraw into their shells when startled. Can live for decades. 3-in-100 chance it's actually a minor god or guardian spirit.

19 Anteater. Oddly elongated but adorable with a shaggy gray coat, cream forelegs, and a distinctive black stripe across the chest and shoulders. Can grow up to 7' long. Insectivore, eats mostly ants and termites but likes larva and grubs of other species too. Can survive on other fat and protein-rich foods like eggs, ground meat, and milk if it's prepared as a slurpable near-liquid slurry. Need brushing and bathing to keep their coat clean. Hate baths. They have an excellent sense of smell and hearing, but terrible vision. Solitary and territorial, don't tolerate other anteaters. Generally slow but can move fast when needed. Deceptively strong, can tear open concrete with their claws. They'll use them for self-defense but will posture and threaten first, standing up on their hind legs with their arms out.

20 Dire silkmoth. Very similar to domestic silkmoths except big and more dramatically patterned. The worms hatch from marble-sized amber eggs and grow to around 2' long, molting 8 times before spinning a watermelon-sized cocoon and metamorphosing into the adult moth. The adults are extremely fluffy, mostly white and cream with prominent black and gray eyespots and brilliant vermillion underwings. The average adult specimen weighs 16 lbs with a 5' to 6' wingspan. Folivore, they eat only mulberry and oak leaves. The adults do eat, but infrequently. The larva are voracious. Relatively short-lived. Most people raise them through their entire 4-year lifecycle from egg to adult. They're decent fliers. Not terribly bright, but so cute. Killing or injuring them is a considered a mortal sin in many religions.