Etiquette For In-Person Games

When I started playing RPGs, games were in-person events. The tools and resources for playing online in real time didn't exist yet, so everyone got together at someone's house and played. (If you were lucky enough to have other players living nearby.) I don't miss those days. Voice and video chat, virtual tabletops, and the ability to find other players from all around the world are absolutely improvements on how it used to be.

Online games are a different experience from in-person though. Not better, different. With different sets of logistical complications to deal with in order to run a smooth session.

The availability of online groups combined with pandemic conditions and the world being what it is means there's a proportion of players who've never actually played in person before. And for those who have, pandemic conditions may have made you rusty. Since folks are starting to gather and play in person again (which I think is unwise) here are a few things to keep in mind to help you be a considerate player and friend in meatspace.

(Most of this is basic etiquette and common sense you probably already know. It would apply to any social situation just as well.

This is also advice about managing to exist together in physical proximity, not about playing the game. The basics of playing (taking turns, respecting x-cards/lines and veils/boundaries, making sure everyone's having fun, etc.) don't change and are even more important in person than when playing online. Don't be a jerk. If someone around you is being a jerk, stop them.)

Commitments, scheduling, and communication:

Scheduling multiple adults to do something together is a feat. Scheduling them to do it in person on a regular basis is a miracle. If you're invited to a meatspace game be sure you can actually commit to show up, especially if there wouldn't be enough people to play without you. Everyone understands that things happen and real life takes priority over games; but if you're going to regularly miss sessions let the rest of the group know so they can bring in more players to have a reliable group size or bow out.

Also, if you join a game and realize you're not enjoying playing, bow out. You can always come back for a different game later, don't force yourself to play if you're not feeling it. Your time is valuable too.

Be on time. You don't need to be perfectly punctual, but try to arrive within 15 minutes of the planned time and let the group know if you're running late. It's fine if you're late, things happen, just make sure to communicate with your group so they don't worry about you. They're your friends, they'll worry.

If you have to cancel or reschedule give as much advance warning as you can. Let your folks know what's going on and don't feel bad about asking for a schedule change if you need one, just try to give the rest of your group as much time to plan as possible.

TL;DR: To play in person folks have to travel, spend money on fuel and transportation, haul stuff around, and get back home. It's more of an effort to organize and more of an inconvenience to change plans unexpectedly, so be considerate. Respect your friends' time and communicate as much as you can if plans change.

Table manners:

There's a finite amount of room when you're playing in person. Be aware of how much table space you're using and try to make sure no one is too crowded. Try to bring as little stuff as possible, only what you'll actually use, and if you're not actively using something don't keep it on the table. Put it by your chair or against the wall where you can grab it if you need it, but it's not taking up table space.

Be proactive about messes. Watch your drink, watch other people's drinks. Watch your snacks, crumbs, and greasy fingers. Clean the table thoroughly before you set up for game, especially if you all ate there first. We all know how expensive these books are, and how many of them are out of print and literally irreplaceable. Do everything you can to not destroy your friends' stuff. The easiest way to do that is just to pay attention and think ahead. Watch your elbows. Keep drinks away from things a spill would damage. Use coasters. Consider what could go wrong and be ready to respond to other folks' messes too. Have a roll of paper towels on or near the table at all times, I'm not kidding.

Try not to distract from the game. No one is going to be completely focused on the game for the entire session and it would be unreasonable to expect that; but don't hand your phone across the table to share a meme while folks are in the middle of something. Wait for a lull or a break. If you're going to use electronics at the table, wear headphones or make sure your devices are muted. Online it's not a big deal, but in person it can make it very hard for folks who have trouble focusing to enjoy the game. Do your best to help make sure your friends have fun.

TL;DR: Make an effort to be self-aware and look out for your friends.

You got this. Be excellent to each other and have fun!