d100 Things in the Witch's Cottage

1 700lb of confectioner's sugar

2 Black iron cauldron (person-sized)
3 Black iron cauldron (5qt, travel-size)
4 An elaborate wood-fired pizza oven
5 Black iron kettle
6 Silver tea service
7 Bone china painted with birdhouses and daisies (place settings for 6)
8 Fire spirit bound to the hearth grate (burns toast but makes life-changing omelets)
9 Novelty apron (reads "Smokin' Hot" surrounded by flame patterns)
10 A fully-stocked pantry, larder, and icebox
11 Freshly-brewed tea and cakes
12 Homemade moonshine and a still out back
13 Dried herbs
14 A worrying number of succulents and cacti
15 Mushrooms (fresh, dried, growing everywhere)
16 Cookie jar of molasses chews (delicious)
17 Cookie tin of gingerbread men (alive, desperate, delicious)
18 Cookie tin of sewing supplies
19 Golden stork embroidery scissors
20 Silver sewing shears
21 A book of bone needles
22 Spools of nettle thread
23 Hanks of spidersilk floss
24 Skeins of human hair
25 Spinning wheel (ancient, wooden)
26 Spindle (solid gold)
27 Distaff and bales of flax
28 A pretty linen tablecloth embroidered with one of every flower
29 Hand-tatted lace doilies
30 Button eyes
31 An extensive collection of dolls and poppets
32 Marionettes hanging from every inch of the ceiling
33 Nesting dolls (sing when open and beg not to be closed)
34 Extremely detailed anatomical models
35 Skulls
36 A disordered heap of bones
37 Several articulated skeletons
38 Box of teeth
39 Assorted dried hearts
40 Jar of fresh eyeballs
41 A butchered unicorn
42 Dragon's teeth in a wormhide sack
43 Mummified swallows hung as a garland
44 A perfectly normal chicken
45 A kid goat (black, adorable, troublesome)
46 Bats
47 Rats (ensorcelled and acting as servants)
48 Rats (ensorcelled transmuted people)
49 A cat
50 Two cats
51 Three cats
52 1d6+3 cats
53 A cat-sized bullfrog named Jeb (breaks things when he croaks)
54 A bullfrog-sized horsefly named Reggie (can talk, extremely fond of tropical fruit)
55 A vivarium of newts
56 Two obnoxious kids who refuse to leave
57 A tiny elder tree
58 Billhook (rusty, ivory-handled)
59 Iron tongs
60 Blacksmith's hammer
61 Copper nails
62 Scythe (The Scythe, yes that one)
63 Broom (handmade from yew boughs)
64 Broom (refuses to clean and will buck any unworthy rider)
65 Sealskin coat
66 Swanskin cloak
67 Sturdy boots (muddy)
68 Sensible flats (cute)
69 Thigh-high leather platform boots (black)
70 Pointy hat (black)
71 Cloak (enveloping, black, billows dramatically at exactly the right moments)
72 Wardrobe of fine clothes in all shades of black
73 Souvenir t-shirt (reads "I killed the Witchfinder General and all I got was this lousy t-shirt")
74 A copy of the Malleus Maleficarum (margins full of scathing annotations in perfect handwriting)
75 Magic mirror (talking)
76 Scrying sunglasses
77 Crystal ball (sometimes gets bad reception but usually reliable)
78 Crystals (purely ornamental)
79 Piles of scrolls (disorganized)
80 Shed iron teeth
81 Playing cards with sexy wizards on them
82 Oversized birdcage (empty)
83 Candles (a fire hazard worth)
84 Chessboard with talking pieces
85 Unnecessarily complex brass scales
86 Doctor's bag
87 Weird fossils (some move on their own)
88 Chest of pearls (each has a soul bound to it)
89 Jewelry box (carved with trees, cedar, screams when you open it)
90 A delicate cobalt glass vase (turns any flowers put in it blood red)
91 Ivory comb inlaid with amber crosses
92 21 years of National Hexographic back issues
93 Shelves of research notes on the variations in structures of mutated snail shells
94 An orrery of the solar system showing three planets and nineteen moons you didn't know existed
95 An armoire full of borrowed shadows
96 Some really good cigars
97 Bundles of letters from your parents (from before you were born, tied in green ribbon)
98 Dozens of multicolored glass witchballs (were gag gifts, but she likes them)
99 A pleasantly fat toad
100 The witch's body (unoccupied)

d100 Places to Find Items

1 Encapsulated in an adobe wall
2 Strapped to the undercarriage of a car
3 In the glove box
4 Resting inside the exploded ribcage of an adventurer's corpse
5 At the bottom of a well
6 In a time capsule
7 In a riderless horse's saddlebags
8 Bricked inside a section of masonry
9 Held in a statue's hands
10 Sealed inside a giant's false tooth
11 In a troll's pocket
12 Strapped to the cathedral bell's clapper
13 In the cold remains of campsite's fire circle
14 Jammed in a crevice in a cliff
15 In an eagle's aerie
16 Embedded in the wall of a wasp's nest
17 Encapsulated in honeycomb
18 Beneath a loose floorboard
19 Under the bed
20 Inside the mattress
21 In a dead adventurer's pack
22 At the bottom of a glacial crevasse
23 In the middle of an abandoned camp, no signs of a struggle
24 In a cache hidden beneath a loose flagstone
25 Sunk in a bog
26 In the hulk of a shipwreck
27 Among the ashes of a burned-out house
28 In a kid's toy chest
29 In a wall safe concealed behind a painting
30 In a metal box mounted inside the chimney
31 Buried with its owner
32 Caught in a storm drain
33 Buried at the foot of a lightning-blasted oak
34 In the pantry tucked behind cans of soup
35 Sitting in plain view on a bookshelf
36 In the freezer
37 In a cockatrice's gizzard
38 In a pile of dragonshit
39 Lying completely unprotected in the middle of the floor
40 Next to the spare tire in the trunk
41 In your pack, no clue how it got there
42 Waiting at the foot of your bed
43 Tucked into a hollow tree trunk
44 Glued to a giant tortoise's shell
45 Mixed in the ship's ballast
46 Buried 100' north of where the map says it should be
47 In the bargain bin at a thrift store
48 In a steamer trunk in the attic
49 In a hollowed-out book
50 In a snake's stomach
51 Bolted to a weathervane
52 Implanted in a wizard's eye socket
53 In a wandering llama's pack
54 Suspended in giant spider webs
55 Inside a cocoon
56 In a safe deposit box
57 In plain view in a shop's case
58 Inside a chained coffin
59 Sealed in a weighted pot at the bottom of a lake
60 Engulfed by a coral reef
61 Suspended on silver chains in the center of the room
62 Sitting on top of a pressure plate
63 In pride of place as the banquet's centerpiece
64 Tucked in a brigand's boot
65 Concealed in a bale of hay
66 Accidentally dropped in the latrine
67 Lying undamaged in an active forge
68 Lodged in a gargoyle's throat
69 Hovering 6' off the floor
70 Lying inside a salt circle
71 Enshrined on the altar
72 Contained inside a curtain of running water
73 Sealed inside a lead-lined box
74 Decohered into a laser signal and bouncing through a ring of mirrors
75 Encoded into an earworm stuck in a sphinx's head
76 Built into a golem's chassis
77 Floating in a jar of pickled eggs
78 At the end of the rainbow
79 A the bottom of a hiberniculum
80 Hanging over a bottomless pit
81 Floating in a hot spring
82 Tied to a duck's foot
83 In a shoebox at the back of the closet
84 In an old cookie tin
85 Mildly unstuck in time and space, 10" and 20 seconds from where it appears to be
86 Clipped to a cat's collar
87 In a swan's nest
88 In a thicket of poison ivy
89 Transformed into a treefrog
90 Fused to an unconscious adventurer's face and breathing for them
91 In a giant chrysalis
92 Among the goods left in an overturned wagon
93 In the ruins of an abandoned cottage
94 Tied inside a wiggling sack
95 Lost in a gutter
96 In the lost and found
97 In an abandoned storage unit
98 Sitting in line with six identical forgeries
99 Fused to your left hand
100 In evidence lockup

Dungeon Gifts

The Dungeon loves you. It wants you to feel safe, at home in the depths. It wants you to stay.

The Dungeon understands the unknown is scary, so it'll give you new eyes to see it. It'll tell you about itself, pouring the information into your head as gently as it can so you won't be afraid. It wants you to understand it, but it knows these things take time. It's patient.

The Acclimation Process

The more time you spend in the Dungeon the more influence it gains. The effects are well-documented and cumulative so experienced delvers often wear stopwatches or other timers as dosimeters to track their exposure. A normal progression of symptoms is:

Stage 1: Loss of anxiety and fear in total darkness. (Develops after 1 month of cumulative exposure.) [1]

Stage 2: Gain dimvision at 5, 10, 15, 30, 60, and finally 120'. (Each increase in distance takes an additional 2 weeks of exposure to develop after the onset of Stage 1. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 2: 4 months.) [2-7]

Stage 3: Gain darkvision at 5, 10, 15, 30, 60, and finally 120'. (Each increase in distance takes an additional 2 weeks of exposure to develop after the end of Stage 2. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 3: 7 months.) [8-13]

Stage 4: Gain an improved sense of direction. (You always know where north is and don't get turned around or lost in the Dungeon's halls. Develops with 1 week of exposure after the end of Stage 3. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 4: 7 months, 1 week.) [14]

Stage 5: Gain an instinctive partial awareness of the floor plan. (You know where specific locations are in relation to yourself but not the exact path to get there, only the general direction you need to travel. You know even if you've never been to the location before. Develops 1 week after the onset of Stage 4. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 5: 7 months, 2 weeks.) [15]

Stage 6: Gain an instinctive awareness of the area around you to 30, 60, 90, and finally 120'. (You know the surrounding halls, corridor branches, and rooms. Each increase in distance takes an additional week to develop after the onset of Stage 5. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 6: 8 months, 2 weeks.) [16-19]

Stage 7: Gain an instinctive awareness of the contents of rooms and the locations of the creatures around you to 10, 15, 30, 60, and finally 90'. (You know where everything in range is before you see it, including traps. Each increase in distance takes an additional 3 days of exposure to develop after the end of Stage 6. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 7: 9 months, 1 day.) [20-24]

Stage 8: Begin seeing secrets. (You automatically know where secret doors and room are, included magically-concealed features. Develops with 3 days exposure after the end of Stage 7. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 8: 9 months, 4 days.) [25]

Stage 9: Instinctively know the full exact floor plan of the level you're on, then the levels above and below you, and finally the adjacent levels 2 deep. (Each increase in distance takes an additional day to develop after the onset of Stage 8. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 9: 9 months, 1 week.) [26-28]

Stage 10: Instinctively know the full exact floor plan of the entire Dungeon. (You have complete awareness of all the Dungeon's architectural details, even ones you haven't explored yet. Develops 1 day after the end of Stage 9. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 10: 9 months, 1 week, 1 day.) [29]

Stage 11: Lose any desire to leave the Dungeon. You're home. (You live here now. Switch to a tower defense game protecting the Dungeon. Develops 1 day after the onset of Stage 10. Total exposure time at the end of Stage 11: 9 months, 1 week, 2 days.) [30]

This is only an average timeline for Acclimation. The exact speed of the progression varies between individuals, sometimes dragging on or leaping ahead unexpectedly. If you haven't been tracking exposure or lose count of how long you've been under, roll d30 to see how affected you are.

Progression can also shift dramatically based on your experiences in the Dungeon, ebbing and flowing like any other relationship. Roll d30 every time you:

- Are in total darkness
- Are injured
- Spring a trap
- Are ambushed
- Flee
- Have a near-death experience
- Watch something die
- Go without seeing the sun for 3 days
- Make a friend or alliance
- Discover something wondrous or beautiful
- Learn something about the Dungeon
- Find treasure
- Find shelter
- Eat a meal
- Sit by a fire

If the result is 5 more/less than your current exposure level, go up/down 1 step within your current Stage. If the result is 10 more/less, go up/down 1 full Stage.

The Dungeon's effects are reversible up to Stage 10, but recovery takes time. Remaining above ground with daily exposure to the sun and sky is key to undoing the changes caused by the Dungeon. If your goal is to recover you must not reenter the Dungeon before the sun's finished its work.

Reversing your exposure is literal. The effects of the most advanced stages burn away first followed by the Dungeon's earlier gifts in order.

- Knowledge of the Dungeon's levels and floor plan fades after 6 months above ground. (Stages 10-9)
- Specific awareness of Dungeon features subsides after another 3 months. (Stages 8-5)
- Direction sense disappears after another month. (Stage 4)
- Vision returns to normal in 2 weeks. (Stages 3-2)
- Anxiety in the dark returns after a solid week above ground. (Stage 1)

If you reenter the Dungeon before recovering completely you'll begin accumulating exposure again starting from the last Stage you healed to.

Once Stage 11 symptoms appear recovery is impossible.