Doing the Work

Writing is not suffering. Writing is fun. I love stories and writing and games. Taking my ideas and fusing them together into something that didn't exist before I set pen to paper is magical. Making things to use and share with others, having fun with something I made, is rewarding as hell.

I genuinely enjoy writing so finding motivation to write is easy. I want to do it. Actually doing the work though, that's hard.

Getting started and putting words down on paper without getting distracted or discouraged or otherwise sabotaging myself should be simple, but it's not. Still, it's necessary. The key part of writing that makes it writing is moving the words out of your head and onto the page. After all, if you want something concrete that you can send out into the world you have to actually write it down.

My main issue is staying focused once I start and not spinning off into the weeds. I can just sit down and start writing because I make a point to deal with or avoid things I know are distractions. These are things I've noticed over the years that draw my focus away from the work and get in the way of me actually writing like:

Electronics
This is the biggest one but the easiest to deal with. Having electronics around means there's an entire internet of things to grab and split my attention. So to get rid of that my phone, tablets, computer, anything with a screen gets put away while I'm writing. I don't check them or acknowledge they exist unless there's an emergency. My attention is on the paper and ideas, everything else can wait until I'm done. (At least that's the goal. I don't always succeed.)

Rituals
I used to think writing was a special state that I needed to prepare for by doing a bunch of little rituals to get in the right frame of mind. To write I absolutely had to make tea first, or light some incense, put on music, all this elaborate setup that just wasted time and kept me from actually starting to write. I realized it was getting in the way, so I don't do it anymore. All I need to write is paper, a pen, and my brain. (I do still make tea, but because I like it not because it's a requirement.)

Stuff
Shopping for office supplies is a great distraction. I have physical materials that I prefer working with but I don't need any specific product in order to write. Any paper and writing utensil will do in a pinch. The idea that buying more stuff will make you more organized or productive or motivate you to write is insidious and bullshit, but I regularly find myself shopping for writing supplies instead of writing. The knowledge that I really will eventually use everything I buy doesn't help. The best thing I've found to counter distraction shopping is to go over the stock of office supplies I already have and berate myself to stop looking at notebooks and fill one instead. (It usually works.)

Too many ideas
I have a lot of things on my to-write list. Usually I only work on one at a time and finish them in a FIFO order, but sometimes I run into a deadlock trying to decide what to work on. Most often it's because I get too wrapped up in trying to judge what's the "best" choice based on which is closest to being done, what I'm most interested in right then, or which would be most useful to folks when I should really just pick one and get started. Once I notice what's happening I handle it by forcing myself to make a choice. I'll either pick the smallest thing that's easiest to finish just to get something done, or make a poll with my top three and let other folks decide, or put all the options on a list and roll a die. Sometimes I'll accept the result as-is, but formally asking the question at all is usually enough to crystallize a decision and push me to get off my ass and do the work. (The dice haven't failed me yet.)

Worrying about perfection
I have high standards for my work and I'm very good at procrastinating under the guise of doing something superficially useful. It leads me to doing things like stalling out because I'm trying to find the perfect word instead of just writing something and refining it later, or wasting time on researching minor details that I could confirm and correct after I've got the basics written down. It's a trap of feeling like I'm doing work that keeps me from actually accomplishing anything significant. I avoid it by being aware that the potential for self-sabotage exists, paying attention so I don't do it, and remembering that I'm writing a draft. It won't be perfect and perfection is an unrealistic expectation. There will be refining steps later, but I can't refine what hasn't been written. (This one actually works great. Don't strive for perfection, it's not real.)

Distractions still pop up even though I know what they are and take steps to minimize them. It's something I have to work around and in spite of, mostly by just putting my head down and willfully focusing on writing. It only works because I want to do the work and get shit done.

The other thing I've had to learn to deal with is writer's block. As much as I love writing there are times when I just can't. When I run up against writer's block the first thing I do is try to tell if it actually is writer's block and not just a focus problem. To do that I run through a list checking my thoughts, feelings, and actions against the things I already know I have issues with to see if anything lines up.

If I'm:
- Excited about the project but nervous or doubting myself
- Going off on mental tangents, excessively checking resources, or looking at screens
- Overly worried about perfection

Then I know it's just distraction. In that case I deal with whatever's causing the distraction and take a short break to clear my head. Five to ten minutes where I get up, move around, and don't think about words in order to do a minor mental refresh. Physically moving around is key. Stretching, looking at something else (even if it's just another room or out the window), and doing something after I've been sitting still for a while is the best way I've found to unstick my brain and refocus. After I've shaken off the funk I'll come back and keep writing.

If I'm:
- Feeling tired, bored with the project, and generally not enjoying myself
- Out of ideas, brain's completely blank
- Really doubting myself, like "this is all shit and I don't know how to fix it or if it can be saved at all"

Then it's writer's block and I need to step away for a while.

To deal with writer's block I leave and do something else. I don't force myself to try and keep writing in that condition because whatever I create then won't be up to my standards and will only make me feel more discouraged, which feeds into the block and makes it harder to start again later. At that point I'm just wasting time and making myself miserable in the process. So instead I shift away from writing to literally anything else. Accept that I've temporarily run out of steam and step away to give myself some room to breathe without a consuming focus on the problem. That lets me avoid getting so discouraged with a project that I shelve it indefinitely. Putting the work down is fine as long as I eventually come back to pick it up again.

The important thing when I take these breaks is making sure I actually take the break. The point of temporarily letting go is to be able to focus on other things, take in more ideas, and hopefully refill the inspiration tanks. That means I have to actually let go and banish the problem project from my head for a while. If I try to relax with the specific intention of recharging in order to work on The Thing later that just delays the stress instead of abating it. I need to genuinely move on to a different project and if it knocks something loose regarding the other thing, that's serendipity.

I'm rarely on a deadline so whatever's troubling me can wait until I'm rested and ready to tackle it again. There are lots of projects that I'm glad I paused because they're unquestionably better for having given myself a chance to collect more ideas and come back with fresh eyes. I'd rather have a project rest for months and be something I'm proud of than rush to release something that's just okay. Everything gets there eventually, it just takes patience and effort.

How I Write

My dark secret is I don't usually have an editor. This isn't best practice. (You should hire or set up a work trade with an editor and listen to them. An editor will absolutely improve your work.) To compensate I have a process for organizing my ideas and writing drafts to catch as many things as I can. It's not a revolutionary new way of writing, it's just the amalgamation of small things that help me start writing and keep writing to get the ideas down and refined.

Here's what I do:

0 Voice recordings

I don't always make recordings, but sometimes while I'm out walking I'll spitball ideas aloud and record it. Hearing concepts spoken aloud is helpful when I'm trying to decide if an idea is something I should continue with or if it's actually just dumb and a dead end. When I'm done with my walk I'll go back through the recording and pick out the good bits.

1 Notes
These are the raw ideas that lead to other things. Single words, sentences, chunks of lists in progress, and outlines that get scrawled on the page as they occur to me so I won't forget them later. They go in the little notebook I carry with me and lack any real organization.

2 First draft
The first draft is ugly, too long, and cumbersome in ways I won't notice until later. That's fine. The first draft is where I get words on paper and turn the ideas from my notes into full sentences. At this point it's more important to get the bones of something on the page than it is to be elegant about it.

I write first drafts on any sort of paper in pen and have no qualms about crossing things out or cramming edits between lines and in the margins. Once it's done I let it sit for a few days and ferment, that way I have clear eyes when I come back to edit it for the second draft.

3 Second draft
This is where I start editing. I read the first draft, have tea, then read it again. Then I mark the hell out of it in a different color pen. I try to be as merciless as possible with my editing and usually end up rewriting a significant portion of the draft and cutting out big chunks.

Once I'm satisfied with it I copy the edited version onto fresh loose leaf in pen and let it sit to ferment again before I go back for a third draft. (I specifically use loose leaf because it makes neat stacks. That way it doesn't look like a messy, discouraging pile if I can't get back to writing for a while.) The first draft goes in the recycling.

4 Third draft
I go through the read-tea-read sequence again to catch things I missed in the second draft and the things I decide I'm no longer happy with. Then I copy the new version into a composition notebook in pencil. The notebook is my semi-archival storage. It's durable, compact, and reliable. If my hard drive ever fails or my backups get wonked I'll still have a copy of what I've done that I can type up again and restore. It may not be exactly what the lost final digital draft was, but it's close enough that I can recreate it.

5 "Final" draft
I type up the third draft, usually making a few last changes along the way, and prepare the digital version to be published. The file gets saved as a .txt, copied to a thumb drive, put in cloud storage, and saved onto at least two other devices. Once the text is thoroughly backed up I start prepping it for a blog post, send it off to be included in a zine, or start doing layout. (The 'final' is in scare quotes because there's always some last-minute changes to make before it's actually published, but it's close enough.)

Doing it this way lets me catch most errors and produce the best work I can. There'll always be something I only spot after the PDF is exported or the blog post is published, but as long as it's not in physical print that's fixable.

The key thing is being willing to put in the time and effort to write multiple drafts, let them sit between editing rounds, then step back from what you've done and say "this could be better."

(Seriously though, get an editor.)

The Role of Stationery

I write almost exclusively on paper. Everything gets digitized eventually, but while I'm writing I prefer physical media for a variety of reasons.

- I find a blank page easier to start on and fill than a blank screen.
- It's easier on my eyes because there's no screen glare.
- There are fewer distractions than when using electronics.
- I never have to worry about battery life.
- I'll never lose my work if my machine dies.
- It's easier to carry a notebook and write than it is to carry and set up a laptop.
- I like it.

This means I go through a lot of paper and it's shaped my relationship with stationery over the years. I love office supplies, but I don't value them. I don't buy high-quality, expensive writing supplies. To me notebooks and writing tools are entirely ephemeral and expendable. They exist to be used, consumed in the process of creating, and are only valuable as a substrate for words.

Because of that my taste in materials is for the inexpensive, simple, and durable. I use things that can take a beating as I cart them around with me, do the job, and cost $1. Seriously, I try not to spend more than $1 per notebook. I wait for back-to-school sales and stock up or pick up stuff from thrift stores and garage sales. And honestly I would rather have 15 plain $1 composition notebooks to work in than 1 fancy $15 journal. It means I get to write more.

At the same time I try to get things that are nice. Not luxurious, but nice. Things that I genuinely enjoy using because even inexpensive and expendable things should be fun. If I like using my tools, writing is that much easier. If the tools I like are readily available, inexpensive, and expendable then I never hesitate over a notebook being "too good to use" or worry about wasting material. I can just get to creating.

What I end up using the most are:

Spiral notebooks
For ideas and early drafts. I try to get little ones that can fit in a pocket or get thrown in a bag. 5" x 7" (B6) is a good size, but can be hard to find. I like them mostly for the fact that you can neatly tear out pages when they're no longer needed. Lets you start fresh and cut down on distractions from past projects. (Seeing the number of pages decrease also feels like you've accomplished something tangible compared to notebooks where the pages are more firmly bound.) Being able to completely fold the spine back on itself is useful for writing while out too.

Loose leaf
Good for later drafts because it's neat and easy to store in 3-ring binders while a work's in progress. It also lets you shuffle pages and sections around as much as you like and lets you test different orders while finalizing a piece. (And it's cheap.)

Writing and legal pads
I don't use these as much, but they're useful as scratch pads for jotting down ideas or testing wordings before throwing them in a draft. Sort of a spare space to get dumb ideas out of the way when I get stuck on something. And they're invaluable for collecting and organizing entries while making lists.

Composition notebooks
These are the only notebooks that I keep long-term since they're my hardcopy back-ups. I love them because they're durable, easy to get, and easy to store. (Compact and uniform size is an ideal combo. There's also plenty of real estate for stickers.) I go with the classic two-color marbled cardboard cover ones for nostalgia's sake, wide-ruled so there's room to add notes, and usually fill one 200-page notebook every six months or so.

Rollerball pens
They're a little pricier than ballpoints, but it's worth it. The liquid ink makes writing easier so I can work for longer without getting a cramp or hurting my hand. Ink also keeps me from trying to edit and second-guess myself as I write. Since I can't erase I've just got to keep going and get words down. (They also come in gorgeous colors. Nice things.)

Pencils
These are the only concession I make to archival quality. Ink can fade, but graphite lasts forever. The paper it's written on could rot away and the graphite will still be there in a pile of dust. I use pencil in my composition notebooks because I intend to keep them for a while. I use wood pencils at home (because my dad gave me a 144-count box that I've almost finished) and mechanical while out.

On archival quality: It's not something I actually worry about. Finished books may be worth preserving, but my drafts are for me. If they last my lifetime that's more than enough. There's no point in trying to preserve these papers beyond me, so I don't bother.

And that's it. The materials I use, why I've selected them, and my relationship with them as tools of the trade. It all comes down to choosing what works, then actually doing the work.

Writing About Writing

I write a lot. Always have since I was little. It's not something I've thought much about, just something I do, but it occurred to me that maybe I should spend some time introspecting on this activity that I've spent a huge chunk of my life pursuing. At least a little.

So that's what I'm going to do.

The next few posts are mostly for me as I try to pin down my thoughts and habits related to writing. I hope my documenting how the sausage gets made will be useful to other folks too, or at least interesting. We'll see. My ways are high-effort and inscrutable.