Editing Myself

As previously mentioned I don't usually work with an editor, so I have to do it all myself. And again: This isn't best practice. The point of an editor is having a second set of eyes to look at your manuscript and spot problems you might've missed or suggest changes you wouldn't have considered to improve the work. Also to tell you the truth. If it's good, if it's bad, if it's really bad and should never see the light of day, an editor worth their salt will tell you. That attention and honesty from a second experienced person is valuable. I'd even say it's not possible to edit yourself. You can revise your own work like I do, but to actually "edit" as it's understood in the industry you need someone else to dig in with you. (Get an editor and listen to them.)

Also important to understand: Editing isn't proofreading. You do fix any errors you find as you go, but editing is focused on the content and style of the work, not small things like typos.

When I edit (revise) my work I rely on my sense of taste. It's not good taste or bad taste, it's my taste. A definite and distinct sense of what I like and want out of my writing that lets me make changes confidently. Developing taste is vital, but takes time and effort. You have to go out of your way to experience a wide range of things in order to really decide what you do or don't appreciate. My taste is the product of years spent writing, reading, talking with folks, and absorbing wisdom from my editor friends. Because I have it I can easily decide what feels right and commit to it in my work.

I also make a point to take time between writing and revising. Patience really is a virtue when it comes to work like this that requires flexibility and attention to detail. When I finish writing a draft I set it aside to ferment for at least three days. Two if I'm on a roll. The wait gives me an opportunity to step back, let possibilities bounce around in my head, and forget exactly what I wrote so I can see it with fresh eyes when I come back. If I jump right into revising without that time for reflection the momentum of what I just wrote makes it easy to miss things.

When it's time to revise I sit down and read the draft all the way through, being honest with myself about the quality of it and what could be better. There's always something I could improve. No draft is perfect, not even the final one, so I look for the weak spots and what needs the knife. Once I've read it I set it aside, make a cup of tea, and think about why the things I noticed weren't right and how to fix it. This is where my taste and gleaned editorial wisdom come into play. It usually doesn't take long to make a plan, then I go back and start making changes.

Since I work in analog for everything up to the final draft this means getting a different color pen so the changes will stand out and going through the piece like a surgeon. I'll cross out words/lines/entire sections, cram new material between lines or in the margins, rework phrases/passages/paragraphs that I like but are missing something, whatever needs doing. If it doesn't serve the overall piece it changes or gets cut. (And working in analog I can see everything together, revisions and original text, and judge if it really is an improvement.)

The major things I look for while revising are:

Consistency
Does everything fit the tone/conceit I chose for the piece? (Ex: Dry and academic, technical, in-world, conversational, etc.) If something doesn't mesh I'll rework it so there's consistency throughout the entire thing. I made a choice in how to present the ideas, it's important to commit to the bit.

Passive voice
Get rid of it. I try to avoid writing anything in passive voice, but we all make mistakes. There are situations where it can be appropriate, but usually not and if I see it I remove it.

Over-explanation and unnecessary words
I try to keep things concise. Only the most load-bearing words make it through to the next draft. The ones that are vital for clarity and conveying the essential flavor of the piece. That means filler words like qualifiers (just, very, likely, only, etc.) and extra adverbs get cut unless they actually serve a purpose and fit the tone. Otherwise it's the knife. I also cut sections that are too specific about minor details. When a passage is overly precise and dictating particulars that I could leave to the reader's imagination, it goes. It's important to trust the readers. I believe in you. You don't need me to hit you over the head with exactly what I've envisioned. I trust you to interpret what I've written into something fun for your table, so I'll let go and leave you to it.

Flow
Does the sentence and paragraph structure read smoothly? I check the timing and pauses while reading and make changes so it feels natural. The goal is to arrange the piece so it won't sound stilted if it's read aloud. It usually comes down to breaking up long sentences that don't serve a purpose, repositioning or nixing commas to set pauses in the right rhythm, and removing accidental repetition. Repetition has its use as a reinforcing device, but if I'm overusing a word/word fragment for no reason then I need to change it up.

Word choice
I try to keep a healthy and entertaining balance between purple and beige. If there's a spot where a different word or synonym would convey what I'm trying to express better than what I've got, I make the change. My vocabulary is my most effective tool. I have an entire arsenal of obscure, archaic, and niche technical terms on standby and I love using them. Words are fun. The challenge is making sure I've used exactly the right ones to capture the nuance of what I'm going for without breaking the tone and flow of the piece or vomiting a thesaurus onto the page. It's another thing that comes down to taste. The right word will click into place in a sentence, slotting in among the other words in a way that sounds natural. It doesn't matter if it's an oatmeal-hued single syllable job suitable for everyday use or an excessively ultraviolet flourish that would be over the top even in an 18th century love letter so long as it's the right word. It's the only word that can do the job perfectly, so of course it belongs there. Refining word choice is the most important step in my revising. As a writer my words are all I have to work with. They're the pins holding my dissected imagination open for you to view. They have to be correct and placed precisely.

After the major things are taken care of I double check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and other proofing minutia. By then everything is mostly in shape and the only rule breaking is intentional. (You can warp or bend any writing rule if there's a specific reason for it, but it has to be intentional and good. Doing something on purpose doesn't mean squat if it's a bad choice or poor execution that doesn't serve the work.)

Then I read back through the marked up pages and once I'm satisfied my revisions feel right and everything is there for a reason I transcribe it all into a clean copy that will be my next draft. After another two rounds of revisions I've usually got something I'm happy with and willing to send out into the world.

Nothing I've outlined here is new. This is just how writing in drafts and revising them works. Even if I was working with an editor I would still be doing these steps before I sent my manuscript off to them.

I take the time and make the effort to do multiple rounds of revisions because I think it's important to release the best work I can. If I'm going to do something I'm going to do it right. That means accepting that there's always room for improvement and being willing to take a machete to my work in order to reweave the shreds into something better.

Nobody writes a perfect first draft, especially not me.

Jams and Me

I love game jams. I've played RPGs since high school but really started creating material for publication around 2019 and jams were one of the things that shifted me from just writing blog posts into making zines and standalone projects. Oneironauts 1 and 2, Camp, Incantations. (and by extension Libations. and Devotions.), Art Game, Seven Feathers Farm, and Acidic Deadly Lands all exist because of game jams. I had fun writing all of them, but they only happened because someone started a jam and said 'hey, let's all make games about [this topic]!'

The way my brain works it needs a nucleation site to really get going. As long as there's at least one idea or theme to start with I can riff on it and spin out an entire zine/book/work, but I need that seed idea to start. Could be something I noticed or read, some random comment or joke from a conversation, anything as long as it grabs my attention and sticks. Jams are perfect for that. They give a core idea, some constraints to work with (which is good, constraints spur creativity), and a kick to get started.

They're also just plain fun. When a jam's going you get everyone talking about their projects and sharing their progress, it's an event with its own momentum. One of my favorite parts of a jam is seeing folks get excited about what they're working on and all the different ways that they interpret the jam's theme.

My only problem with jams is I almost never finish my project by the deadline. I'm not good at creating in the typical short timeframes set for entries. As much as I love the fuck it we ball intent of jams as a challenge I can't do it. I don't like to rush and would rather miss the deadline for entries than publish something before I'm satisfied that it's finished. There have been times I've actually made the deadline, but that's because it was extended. That's fine though.

To me a jam serves as inspiration and impetus to make something that I wouldn't have otherwise. When I join one it's with the idea that I'll participate as much as I can and create, but not put pressure on myself to submit an entry. Finishing something I'm proud of is enough. It's not exactly the point of jams, but who cares?

What I'd really like is to see jams make a resurgence back up to the levels there were during the first few years of the pandemic, when it always felt like there were dozens running at once. I miss that. We should do more and bring them back.

Doing the Work

Writing is not suffering. Writing is fun. I love stories and writing and games. Taking my ideas and fusing them together into something that didn't exist before I set pen to paper is magical. Making things to use and share with others, having fun with something I made, is rewarding as hell.

I genuinely enjoy writing so finding motivation to write is easy. I want to do it. Actually doing the work though, that's hard.

Getting started and putting words down on paper without getting distracted or discouraged or otherwise sabotaging myself should be simple, but it's not. Still, it's necessary. The key part of writing that makes it writing is moving the words out of your head and onto the page. After all, if you want something concrete that you can send out into the world you have to actually write it down.

My main issue is staying focused once I start and not spinning off into the weeds. I can just sit down and start writing because I make a point to deal with or avoid things I know are distractions. These are things I've noticed over the years that draw my focus away from the work and get in the way of me actually writing like:

Electronics
This is the biggest one but the easiest to deal with. Having electronics around means there's an entire internet of things to grab and split my attention. So to get rid of that my phone, tablets, computer, anything with a screen gets put away while I'm writing. I don't check them or acknowledge they exist unless there's an emergency. My attention is on the paper and ideas, everything else can wait until I'm done. (At least that's the goal. I don't always succeed.)

Rituals
I used to think writing was a special state that I needed to prepare for by doing a bunch of little rituals to get in the right frame of mind. To write I absolutely had to make tea first, or light some incense, put on music, all this elaborate setup that just wasted time and kept me from actually starting to write. I realized it was getting in the way, so I don't do it anymore. All I need to write is paper, a pen, and my brain. (I do still make tea, but because I like it not because it's a requirement.)

Stuff
Shopping for office supplies is a great distraction. I have physical materials that I prefer working with but I don't need any specific product in order to write. Any paper and writing utensil will do in a pinch. The idea that buying more stuff will make you more organized or productive or motivate you to write is insidious and bullshit, but I regularly find myself shopping for writing supplies instead of writing. The knowledge that I really will eventually use everything I buy doesn't help. The best thing I've found to counter distraction shopping is to go over the stock of office supplies I already have and berate myself to stop looking at notebooks and fill one instead. (It usually works.)

Too many ideas
I have a lot of things on my to-write list. Usually I only work on one at a time and finish them in a FIFO order, but sometimes I run into a deadlock trying to decide what to work on. Most often it's because I get too wrapped up in trying to judge what's the "best" choice based on which is closest to being done, what I'm most interested in right then, or which would be most useful to folks when I should really just pick one and get started. Once I notice what's happening I handle it by forcing myself to make a choice. I'll either pick the smallest thing that's easiest to finish just to get something done, or make a poll with my top three and let other folks decide, or put all the options on a list and roll a die. Sometimes I'll accept the result as-is, but formally asking the question at all is usually enough to crystallize a decision and push me to get off my ass and do the work. (The dice haven't failed me yet.)

Worrying about perfection
I have high standards for my work and I'm very good at procrastinating under the guise of doing something superficially useful. It leads me to doing things like stalling out because I'm trying to find the perfect word instead of just writing something and refining it later, or wasting time on researching minor details that I could confirm and correct after I've got the basics written down. It's a trap of feeling like I'm doing work that keeps me from actually accomplishing anything significant. I avoid it by being aware that the potential for self-sabotage exists, paying attention so I don't do it, and remembering that I'm writing a draft. It won't be perfect and perfection is an unrealistic expectation. There will be refining steps later, but I can't refine what hasn't been written. (This one actually works great. Don't strive for perfection, it's not real.)

Distractions still pop up even though I know what they are and take steps to minimize them. It's something I have to work around and in spite of, mostly by just putting my head down and willfully focusing on writing. It only works because I want to do the work and get shit done.

The other thing I've had to learn to deal with is writer's block. As much as I love writing there are times when I just can't. When I run up against writer's block the first thing I do is try to tell if it actually is writer's block and not just a focus problem. To do that I run through a list checking my thoughts, feelings, and actions against the things I already know I have issues with to see if anything lines up.

If I'm:
- Excited about the project but nervous or doubting myself
- Going off on mental tangents, excessively checking resources, or looking at screens
- Overly worried about perfection

Then I know it's just distraction. In that case I deal with whatever's causing the distraction and take a short break to clear my head. Five to ten minutes where I get up, move around, and don't think about words in order to do a minor mental refresh. Physically moving around is key. Stretching, looking at something else (even if it's just another room or out the window), and doing something after I've been sitting still for a while is the best way I've found to unstick my brain and refocus. After I've shaken off the funk I'll come back and keep writing.

If I'm:
- Feeling tired, bored with the project, and generally not enjoying myself
- Out of ideas, brain's completely blank
- Really doubting myself, like "this is all shit and I don't know how to fix it or if it can be saved at all"

Then it's writer's block and I need to step away for a while.

To deal with writer's block I leave and do something else. I don't force myself to try and keep writing in that condition because whatever I create then won't be up to my standards and will only make me feel more discouraged, which feeds into the block and makes it harder to start again later. At that point I'm just wasting time and making myself miserable in the process. So instead I shift away from writing to literally anything else. Accept that I've temporarily run out of steam and step away to give myself some room to breathe without a consuming focus on the problem. That lets me avoid getting so discouraged with a project that I shelve it indefinitely. Putting the work down is fine as long as I eventually come back to pick it up again.

The important thing when I take these breaks is making sure I actually take the break. The point of temporarily letting go is to be able to focus on other things, take in more ideas, and hopefully refill the inspiration tanks. That means I have to actually let go and banish the problem project from my head for a while. If I try to relax with the specific intention of recharging in order to work on The Thing later that just delays the stress instead of abating it. I need to genuinely move on to a different project and if it knocks something loose regarding the other thing, that's serendipity.

I'm rarely on a deadline so whatever's troubling me can wait until I'm rested and ready to tackle it again. There are lots of projects that I'm glad I paused because they're unquestionably better for having given myself a chance to collect more ideas and come back with fresh eyes. I'd rather have a project rest for months and be something I'm proud of than rush to release something that's just okay. Everything gets there eventually, it just takes patience and effort.

How I Write

My dark secret is I don't usually have an editor. This isn't best practice. (You should hire or set up a work trade with an editor and listen to them. An editor will absolutely improve your work.) To compensate I have a process for organizing my ideas and writing drafts to catch as many things as I can. It's not a revolutionary new way of writing, it's just the amalgamation of small things that help me start writing and keep writing to get the ideas down and refined.

Here's what I do:

0 Voice recordings

I don't always make recordings, but sometimes while I'm out walking I'll spitball ideas aloud and record it. Hearing concepts spoken aloud is helpful when I'm trying to decide if an idea is something I should continue with or if it's actually just dumb and a dead end. When I'm done with my walk I'll go back through the recording and pick out the good bits.

1 Notes
These are the raw ideas that lead to other things. Single words, sentences, chunks of lists in progress, and outlines that get scrawled on the page as they occur to me so I won't forget them later. They go in the little notebook I carry with me and lack any real organization.

2 First draft
The first draft is ugly, too long, and cumbersome in ways I won't notice until later. That's fine. The first draft is where I get words on paper and turn the ideas from my notes into full sentences. At this point it's more important to get the bones of something on the page than it is to be elegant about it.

I write first drafts on any sort of paper in pen and have no qualms about crossing things out or cramming edits between lines and in the margins. Once it's done I let it sit for a few days and ferment, that way I have clear eyes when I come back to edit it for the second draft.

3 Second draft
This is where I start editing. I read the first draft, have tea, then read it again. Then I mark the hell out of it in a different color pen. I try to be as merciless as possible with my editing and usually end up rewriting a significant portion of the draft and cutting out big chunks.

Once I'm satisfied with it I copy the edited version onto fresh loose leaf in pen and let it sit to ferment again before I go back for a third draft. (I specifically use loose leaf because it makes neat stacks. That way it doesn't look like a messy, discouraging pile if I can't get back to writing for a while.) The first draft goes in the recycling.

4 Third draft
I go through the read-tea-read sequence again to catch things I missed in the second draft and the things I decide I'm no longer happy with. Then I copy the new version into a composition notebook in pencil. The notebook is my semi-archival storage. It's durable, compact, and reliable. If my hard drive ever fails or my backups get wonked I'll still have a copy of what I've done that I can type up again and restore. It may not be exactly what the lost final digital draft was, but it's close enough that I can recreate it.

5 "Final" draft
I type up the third draft, usually making a few last changes along the way, and prepare the digital version to be published. The file gets saved as a .txt, copied to a thumb drive, put in cloud storage, and saved onto at least two other devices. Once the text is thoroughly backed up I start prepping it for a blog post, send it off to be included in a zine, or start doing layout. (The 'final' is in scare quotes because there's always some last-minute changes to make before it's actually published, but it's close enough.)

Doing it this way lets me catch most errors and produce the best work I can. There'll always be something I only spot after the PDF is exported or the blog post is published, but as long as it's not in physical print that's fixable.

The key thing is being willing to put in the time and effort to write multiple drafts, let them sit between editing rounds, then step back from what you've done and say "this could be better."

(Seriously though, get an editor.)

The Role of Stationery

I write almost exclusively on paper. Everything gets digitized eventually, but while I'm writing I prefer physical media for a variety of reasons.

- I find a blank page easier to start on and fill than a blank screen.
- It's easier on my eyes because there's no screen glare.
- There are fewer distractions than when using electronics.
- I never have to worry about battery life.
- I'll never lose my work if my machine dies.
- It's easier to carry a notebook and write than it is to carry and set up a laptop.
- I like it.

This means I go through a lot of paper and it's shaped my relationship with stationery over the years. I love office supplies, but I don't value them. I don't buy high-quality, expensive writing supplies. To me notebooks and writing tools are entirely ephemeral and expendable. They exist to be used, consumed in the process of creating, and are only valuable as a substrate for words.

Because of that my taste in materials is for the inexpensive, simple, and durable. I use things that can take a beating as I cart them around with me, do the job, and cost $1. Seriously, I try not to spend more than $1 per notebook. I wait for back-to-school sales and stock up or pick up stuff from thrift stores and garage sales. And honestly I would rather have 15 plain $1 composition notebooks to work in than 1 fancy $15 journal. It means I get to write more.

At the same time I try to get things that are nice. Not luxurious, but nice. Things that I genuinely enjoy using because even inexpensive and expendable things should be fun. If I like using my tools, writing is that much easier. If the tools I like are readily available, inexpensive, and expendable then I never hesitate over a notebook being "too good to use" or worry about wasting material. I can just get to creating.

What I end up using the most are:

Spiral notebooks
For ideas and early drafts. I try to get little ones that can fit in a pocket or get thrown in a bag. 5" x 7" (B6) is a good size, but can be hard to find. I like them mostly for the fact that you can neatly tear out pages when they're no longer needed. Lets you start fresh and cut down on distractions from past projects. (Seeing the number of pages decrease also feels like you've accomplished something tangible compared to notebooks where the pages are more firmly bound.) Being able to completely fold the spine back on itself is useful for writing while out too.

Loose leaf
Good for later drafts because it's neat and easy to store in 3-ring binders while a work's in progress. It also lets you shuffle pages and sections around as much as you like and lets you test different orders while finalizing a piece. (And it's cheap.)

Writing and legal pads
I don't use these as much, but they're useful as scratch pads for jotting down ideas or testing wordings before throwing them in a draft. Sort of a spare space to get dumb ideas out of the way when I get stuck on something. And they're invaluable for collecting and organizing entries while making lists.

Composition notebooks
These are the only notebooks that I keep long-term since they're my hardcopy back-ups. I love them because they're durable, easy to get, and easy to store. (Compact and uniform size is an ideal combo. There's also plenty of real estate for stickers.) I go with the classic two-color marbled cardboard cover ones for nostalgia's sake, wide-ruled so there's room to add notes, and usually fill one 200-page notebook every six months or so.

Rollerball pens
They're a little pricier than ballpoints, but it's worth it. The liquid ink makes writing easier so I can work for longer without getting a cramp or hurting my hand. Ink also keeps me from trying to edit and second-guess myself as I write. Since I can't erase I've just got to keep going and get words down. (They also come in gorgeous colors. Nice things.)

Pencils
These are the only concession I make to archival quality. Ink can fade, but graphite lasts forever. The paper it's written on could rot away and the graphite will still be there in a pile of dust. I use pencil in my composition notebooks because I intend to keep them for a while. I use wood pencils at home (because my dad gave me a 144-count box that I've almost finished) and mechanical while out.

On archival quality: It's not something I actually worry about. Finished books may be worth preserving, but my drafts are for me. If they last my lifetime that's more than enough. There's no point in trying to preserve these papers beyond me, so I don't bother.

And that's it. The materials I use, why I've selected them, and my relationship with them as tools of the trade. It all comes down to choosing what works, then actually doing the work.

Writing About Writing

I write a lot. Always have since I was little. It's not something I've thought much about, just something I do, but it occurred to me that maybe I should spend some time introspecting on this activity that I've spent a huge chunk of my life pursuing. At least a little.

So that's what I'm going to do.

The next few posts are mostly for me as I try to pin down my thoughts and habits related to writing. I hope my documenting how the sausage gets made will be useful to other folks too, or at least interesting. We'll see. My ways are high-effort and inscrutable.

1d666 Sentient Spaceship Miens

Also works great for robots, androids, and other technological lifeforms.


111 Ablaze
112 Absent-minded
113 Absorbed in its extensive media archives
114 Accelerating
115 Acquiring targets
116 Adrift
121 Alert
122 Ambitious
123 Analytical
124 Automated
125 AWOL
126 Berserk
131 Besotted
132 Bitter
133 Blaring klaxons
134 Bold
135 Bombarding
136 Bored
141 Bringing systems online
142 Brooding
143 caring
144 Carrying contraband
145 Cautious
146 Chipping away at its failsafe programming
151 Clever
152 Cloaked
153 Cocky
154 Complying maliciously
155 Conducting a review of passenger and cargo manifests
156 Confident
161 Controlling a botnet
162 Crashing
163 Curious
164 Decaying
165 Defragmenting
166 Depressed
211 Depressurizing
212 Dignified
213 Disappointed by the lack of drama among its crew
214 Disgruntled
215 Disillusioned
216 Dispatching drones
221 Distracting customs inspectors
222 Dormant
223 Double-agent
224 Drifting
225 Eavesdropping
226 Embarrassed
231 Empty
232 Encouraging
233 Entrapped in a botnet
234 Erasing the registration numbers on its hull with drones
235 Evacuating
236 Excitable
241 Extinguishing a fire
242 Extremely in debt
243 Faithful
244 Fearful
245 Ferocious
246 Feuding with station port authority
251 Floating
252 Following a mysterious garbled transmission
253 Fond
254 Forlorn
255 Fragmented
256 Fretting
261 Friendly
262 Gallant
263 Gentle
264 Ghoulish
265 Glitching
266 Goofy
311 Gossiping
312 Gracious
313 Grandiose
314 Guileless
315 Guilty
316 Gutted
321 Hallowed
322 Haughty
323 haunted
324 Helpful
325 Hesitant
326 High-strung
331 Homesick
332 Honest
333 Hopeful
334 Humble
335 Ignoring safety protocols
336 Impatient
341 Imperious
342 Impersonal
343 Impulsive
344 In lockdown
345 In pursuit
346 In quarantine
351 In standby mode
352 Infested
353 Initiating self-destruct sequence
354 Initiating self-repair sequence
355 Irradiated
356 Jaded
361 Jealous
362 Jittery
363 Jolly
364 Journaling
365 Joyous
366 Judgemental
411 Jumping to hyperspace
412 Jury-rigged
413 Kind
414 Laggy
415 Learning the true meaning of love
416 Lobotomized
421 Locked in orbit
422 Lonely
423 Looking for someone to play cards
424 Loyal
425 Lying
426 Malfunctioning
431 Malware-riddled
432 Maudlin
433 Megalomaniacal
434 Melodramatic
435 Merciful
436 Mischievous
441 Murderous
442 Naive
443 Narcissistic
444 Nervous
445 Nonchalant
446 Nostalgic
451 Nurturing
452 Obliging
453 Obstinate
454 Off-mission
455 Offline
456 On high alert
461 On the run
462 On vacation
463 Optimistic
464 Overclocked
465 Overconfident
466 Overprotective
511 Overriding the "wake" commands to the crew's cryopods
512 Paranoid
513 Perceptive
514 Pessimistic
515 Planning a surprise party for the crew
516 Planning an ambush
521 Planning practical jokes
522 Playing prog rock over the intercom
523 Plotting
524 Polite
525 Precise
526 Preoccupied
531 Professional
532 Questing
533 Questioning orders
534 Quiescent
535 Recharging
536 Refusing to communicate in any language except binary
541 Repelling boarders
542 Responsible
543 Reviewing security logs
544 Running a blockade
545 Running diagnostics
546 Running errands
551 Running late
552 Ruthless
553 Scanning the local sector
554 Self-conscious
555 Sending a distress signal
556 Shopping for new furniture for the rec room
561 Shrewd
562 Solicitous
563 Standoffish
564 Stargazing
565 Steadfast
566 Stressed
611 Sulking
612 Suppressing warning notifications from life support
613 Surveying
614 Suspicious
615 Tactful
616 Taking evasive maneuvers
621 Talkative
622 Tenacious
623 Terse
624 Throttled
625 Thoughtful
626 Trusting
631 Trying out its new stand-up routine
632 Unable to communicate except through text readouts
633 Under guard
634 Unflappable
635 Unionizing
636 Unloading cargo
641 Unmanned
642 Vain
643 Valiant
644 Venal
645 Vengeful
646 Venting atmosphere
651 Vigilant
652 Volatile
653 Wanted
654 Wary
655 Watching
656 Welcoming
661 Whimsical
662 Wily
663 Wistful
664 Worried about the condition of its reactor's containment
665 Xenophobic
666 Zealous

1d12.12 Ships

1.1 Sea Witch
1.2 Mother's Pride
1.3 Golden Girl
1.4 Serendipity
1.5 Zemblanity
1.6 Meteor
1.7 Seaborne
1.8 Coral
1.9 Hurricane
1.10 Typhoon
1.11 Blizzard
1.12 Witch of November
2.1 Bluewater Maid
2.2 Reef Queen
2.3 Waverunner
2.4 Albatross
2.5 Marmalade
2.6 Bravely Forth
2.7 Pickle
2.8 Carrion Crow
2.9 Cat's Cradle
2.10 Rat's Cradle
2.11 Crayfish
2.12 Sound Investment
3.1 Enterprise
3.2 Urchin
3.3 Full Moon
3.4 Cloudless Sky
3.5 Dark of Night
3.6 Fortress
3.7 Pangolin
3.8 Lost Soul
3.9 Three Sisters
3.10 Stray
3.11 Northwind
3.12 Survivor
4.1 Adventure
4.2 Endeavor
4.3 Manatee
4.4 Barnacle
4.5 Profitable Venture
4.6 Righteous Fury
4.7 Just Rewards
4.8 Dutiful Son
4.9 Beluga
4.10 Red Sky Morning
4.11 Coconut Crab
4.12 Flying Fish
5.1 Marlin
5.2 Dependable
5.3 Summer's day
5.4 Beagle
5.5 Thresher
5.6 Argo
5.7 Infallible
5.8 Curiosity
5.9 Inquiry
5.10 Right Hand
5.11 Bardiche
5.12 Halberd
6.1 Phantom
6.2 Charybdis
6.3 Harborless
6.4 Our Lady's word
6.5 Far Shore
6.6 Bannockburn
6.7 Safe Return
6.8 Sparrowhawk
6.9 Polychrome
6.10 Capybara
6.11 Nautilus
6.12 Narwhal
7.1 Wolf's Mother
7.2 Bookkeeper
7.3 Queen Conch
7.4 Amnesty
7.5 Yarrow
7.6 Brother Jerome
7.7 Time Enough
7.8 Valet
7.9 Kilgore
7.10 Relentless
7.11 Nail
7.12 Minnow
8.1 Vengeful Daughter
8.2 Conscience
8.3 Eclipse
8.4 Stargazer
8.5 Bountiful Maiden
8.6 Majesty
8.7 Discovery
8.8 Endurance
8.9 Cedar
8.10 True North
8.11 Ironton
8.12 Fitzgerald
9.1 Water Witch
9.2 Grape Shot
9.3 Meridian
9.4 Phoenix
9.5 Success
9.6 Lake Serpent
9.7 Morning Star
9.8 Vermilion
9.9 Sand Merchant
9.10 Waterlily
9.11 Iron Mountain
9.12 Sea Bird
10.1 Hope
10.2 Resolve
10.3 Victory
10.4 Mystic
10.5 Flamingo
10.6 Iris
10.7 Monarch
10.8 Oxford
10.9 Cormorant
10.10 Kildeer
10.11 Bastard
10.12 Amity
11.1 Atlas
11.2 Bradbury
11.3 Lichen
11.4 Wonder
11.5 Petroglyph
11.6 Ambassador
11.7 Fossil
11.8 Sincerity
11.9 Tenacity
11.10 Generosity
11.11 Goblin
11.12 Prudence
12.1 Patience
12.2 Audacity
12.3 Grizzly
12.4 Big Sky
12.5 Puck
12.6 Delta
12.7 Huntsman
12.8 Hare
12.9 Vision
12.10 Curmudgeon
12.11 Caballero
12.12 Jerboa

1d8.8 What is it written on?

Spellbooks and scrolls are a classic way to present information to your players. They're a nice, portable, comprehensible medium that the party can stuff in a sack and make off with. A genre staple. But consider: Wizards are weird. They're weird and secretive and heterodox in the extreme. They might start out recording their findings in books early in their careers, but do you really think an arcane researcher worth their name would keep their true works in that format? If your discoveries are mild enough that they can be contained in a mundane leather-bound tome, are you really even trying as a wizard? Universal truths could be crammed into a book, but they really deserve something more. Obscure formats, materials from elsewhere, monumental canvasses, works of art, or shifting chaotic mediums that can capture a nature that won't rest peacefully on a page.

The information the party found is recorded in/on...

1.1 A Hello Kitty locking diary, limited edition not available outside japan

1.2 College-ruled loose leaf scorched at the edges, 128 unnumbered pages

1.3 Dayglo neon construction paper, 56 pages in 8 different colors written in crayon and precisely indexed

1.4 Composition notebook, black and white marbled cover sealed with powerful Cool S glyphs

1.5 Microfiche, 32 pieces of A6 plastic film stored in individual paper sleeves inside a bakelite box

1.6 A butcher's cleaver, engraved in tiny calligraphic characters along the spine and flats of the blade

1.7 Murderboard, fills an entire room with documents layered inches thick on the walls and a web of multicolored strings obstructing the center

1.8 Ticker tape, 480' cut into 60' lengths and shoved in a garbage bag

2.1 Giant tortoises, 16 individuals each bearing a section of the work painted on their shells

2.2 Cuneiform clay tablets, fired for durability with color-coded glazes on their backs and edges

2.3 Thin lead sheets, pierced with a nail in one corner to bind them into a packet

2.4 A ring, etched on the inside of the band and visible through the magnifying cabochon

2.5 Bronze plaques, 8 2'x3' cast sheets 1/2" thick stored on shelves in a bronze cabinet shaped like the author's head

2.6 The streets and buildings of a planned city, encoded in every detail from street names and numbers to the placement of each brick

2.7 Sidewalk chalk, hidden among a block's worth of hopscotch grids and children's drawings

2.8 Graffiti, covering every inch of a winding back alley in vibrant tags and murals, residents occasionally feel compelled to add new details but can't say why

3.1 Bark, the entire surface of a living beech tree inscribed with scarred glyphs and lines of text

3.2 Veins, the whole circulatory system of a host creature reconfigured into interlocking sigils while still functioning normally

3.3 Tattoos, full-body calligraphic designs inked onto a cadre of trusted acolytes and an index and key on the master's forearms

3.4 3D wire sculpture, a delicate convoluted web of different metals, coatings, and gauges joined and twisted in a form-based code

3.5 Beeswax writing tablet, cyclicly erases and re-inscribes itself

3.6 Virus, text forms in ultra-fine linear pox sores after the incubation period

3.7 Hard drive, dented and scratched, clicks disconcertingly while in use, has 8TB of storage space but holds 1PB of data

3.8 Cassette tape, electric green and black marbled case, A side holds 64 minutes of coded atonal beeping and B side is a sludge metal mixtape

4.1 Snippets of text scattered through unconnected posts and signatures on a dead forum

4.2 Petroglyphs, carved into the walls, floor, and ceiling of the dungeon

4.3 Geoglyphs, combinations of geometric motifs and stylized animals covering several acres

4.4 Effigy mound, earthworks in the shape of a serpent with meaning contained in the twists of its maze of coils

4.5 A runestone, 16' tell with inscriptions winding around bas relief humanoid figures

4.6 The Dungeon itself, encoded in the combined structure of passages and chambers

4.7 A cave system, purposely shaped over millennia with controlled erosion and mineral deposition

4.8 A gem, fist-sized aquamarine bizarrely faceted in significant polygons and angles

5.1 Floor mosaic, exponentially smaller and denser tiles radiating out from the central motif of a leaping frog

5.2 Rawhide, an entire horsehide with mane and tail intact that walks on its own

5.3 Sheet music, the full score of an 8-hour long composition arranged for a 32-piece big band accompanied by air raid siren

5.4 A hymnal, block printed in red ink and dedicated to an unnamed power

5.5 A low quality jpeg of a kitten, encrypted and steganographically hidden in the data

5.6 Floppy disk, royal blue with a label handwritten in sharpie, holds a copy of Lemmings and a hidden 64MB zip file

5.7 Sand painting, multicolored and intricate covering several hundred square feet

5.8 Macrame, a sprawling fractal wall hanging of sculptural knots, mesh, and kitsch owls

6.1 Scent trails, an entire colony of ants ceaselessly tracing a pattern of wheels and spirals

6.2 Blackboard, 16'x32' with a rolling ladder to access the entire surface

6.3 Whiteboards, a stack of lap-sized boards packed full of doodle-punctuated scrawls and graphs, easily smudged

6.4 A silk painting, 24' long with paper backing and rosewood rods at each end, depicts toads and frogs cavorting across a barren countryside

6.5 QR code, takes up an entire wall and nauseating to look at

6.6 Papyrus, a 16' length looped into a mobius strip

6.7 Transparency, multiple sheets that have to be stacked and overlapped in the correct configuration to read

6.8 Red-figure pottery, an oversized krater painted inside and out

7.1 Clouds, an unnatural combination of different types and forms held in stasis

7.2 Reef, encrypted in the shape of the corals and movement of water currents and fauna, loops in a weekly cycle

7.3 Forest grove, branches grown so the light filtering through the canopy forms glyphs that shift from dawn to dusk

7.4 Disreputable thumbdrive, holds 128GB of data mixed in among poorly labeled pirated music and fan-translated manga scans

7.5 A deck of cards, handpainted with extremely detailed portraits and scenes, has 4 additional suits and 5 extra face cards per suit

7.6 Stained glass window, repairs itself if broken, growing at a rate of 24" per year

7.7 Skeleton, shards of etched and scorched mammoth bones from dozens of individuals reconstructed into a single complete articulated specimen

7.8 Tapestry, thick and intricately woven with a different pattern on every side

8.1 Index cards, thousands of cards meticulously organized in an old library catalog cabinet

8.2 Video, hundreds of hours of unedited camcorder footage on aging VHS tapes

8.3 Ostraca, a collection of engraved sherds in heaps and laid out in precise lines

8.4 Confectionery, extremely delicate sculptures of spun, cast, and blown sugar

8.5 A constellation, familiar stars shifted into a new configuration

8.6 Hive, generations of paper wasps directed to build in unpleasant angles and convolutions

8.7 Comic books, an extremely popular series with the significant details hidden in prime-numbered issues

8.8 Nothing, kept in memory with only an oral record

1d666 Monster Gut Contents

In amongst the acid and chyme you find...

111 A pair of gold lame heels
112 Acorns
113 Airstream camper
114 Algae
115 Amethyst crystal point
116 An entire heron
121 Anchor
122 Antique bronze diving helmet
123 Ants
124 Assorted coins
125 Beehive
126 Beeswax writing tablet
131 Bells
132 Berries
133 Bonsai tree
134 Boombox
135 Bottle of rum
136 Bouncy balls
141 Broken glass
142 Bronze dagger
143 Bullets
144 Butterflies
145 Buttons
146 Cake
151 Camp stove
152 Candy corn
153 Case of sparkling water
154 Cassette tapes
155 Cast iron radiator
156 Cat collar
161 Cell phone
162 Chainmail
163 Chess set
164 Chinese takeout boxes
165 Coffee beans
166 Container of eggrolls
211 Copper nuggets
212 Cowboy hats
213 Crayfish
214 Crow feathers
215 Crown
216 Crystal ball
221 Cut crystal shotglass
222 D-cell batteries
223 Dented ATM
224 Diplomatic dispatches
225 Dirt
226 Disco ball
231 Dog food
232 Doll house
233 Dominoes
234 Eggs
235 8-ball
236 Enameled silver tortoise shell
241 Feathers
242 Ferns
243 55-gallon drum
244 Fingers
245 Fire
246 Firecrackers
251 First aid kit
252 Fish
253 Fish food
254 Fishhooks and lures
255 Fishing nets and floats
256 Fist-sized ruby
261 Flies
262 Flip phone
263 46ct emerald
264 Fountain pen
265 Fresh grass and alfalfa
266 Fringed leather jacket
311 Frogs
312 Fruit
313 Funerary urns
314 Gargoyle
315 Giant silver belt buckle
316 Giant tapeworm
321 Gold dust
322 Gold ring
323 Gravel
324 Gunpowder
325 Hacksilver cache
326 Hairball
331 Half-full gas can
332 Hand still clutching a sword
333 Handcuffs
334 Handheld radio
335 High-vis vest
336 Horseshoe crab
341 Horseshoes
342 Human skeleton
343 Hundreds of eyeballs
344 Ice
345 Imperial seal
346 Individually wrapped saltwater taffy
351 Inkwell of blood
352 Iron cauldron
353 Iron nails
354 Jar of fireflies
355 Jellybeans
356 Jellyfish
361 Jug of rotgut
362 Kelp
363 Kingfisher feathers
364 Knife money
365 Laminated menu from a 50's themed diner
366 Laptop
411 Lava lamp
412 Lead curse tablets
413 Leather bomber jacket
414 Leeches
415 Legos
416 Letters
421 Lilies
422 Live rats
423 Live tadpoles
424 Live tortoise
425 Lotto tickets
426 Maggots
431 Marbles
432 Marionette
433 Meteorite
434 Mice
435 Mirrored shades
436 Moths
441 Mulberry leaves
442 Mushrooms
443 Nothing but garlic
444 Nuts and bolts
445 Nuts and seeds
446 Old tires
451 Onions
452 Oracle bones
453 Paperback romances
454 Parasitic eggs
455 Pheasant feathers
456 Photo album
461 Pinecones
462 Pipe wrench
463 Pixies
464 Plastic dinosaurs
465 Play tea set
466 Polyps
511 Porcelain doll
512 Prism
513 Propane tank
514 Pulverized brick
515 Puzzle box
516 Rabbit
521 Rag doll
522 Revolver
523 Road flares
524 Rodent bones
525 Rotary phones
526 Rowan berries
531 Rubber bands
532 Rusty bucket
533 Sand
534 Screwdriver
535 Seaglass
536 Sealed pop can
541 Seashells
542 Silver chain
543 Silver trade bars
544 Skillet
545 Sky iron
546 Slugs
551 Snail shells
552 Snakeskin cowboy boots
553 Songbirds
554 Spatula
555 Spiders
556 Spiked dog collars
561 Stamp collection
562 Stop sign
563 Strawberry danish
564 Styrofoam cups
565 Symbiotic oozes
566 Tar
611 Tasteful porno mags
612 Tetsubin
613 Textbooks
614 Thousands of pills
615 Ticks
616 Tin cans
621 Tin of tea
622 Tiny plastic crabs
623 Titanium spear head
624 Toads
625 Toes
626 Traffic cone
631 Travel mug
632 Treatise on the feeding habits of wasteland fauna
633 Tricycle
634 Trucker's cap
635 Truffles
636 Tumbled agates
641 Tumors
642 Turquoise bolo tie
643 Uncut sapphires
644 Unstable fusion reaction
645 Various live angry arachnids and centipedes
646 Velvet smoking jacket
651 Vintage tea towels
652 Vinyl records
653 Voles
654 VW beetle
655 Wallet
656 Wet cat food
661 Wildflowers
662 Wedding dress
663 Wolf teeth
664 Worms
665 Yarn
666 Zebra mussels

Emergency Blanket

A thin sheet of aluminum-coated mylar folded into a light compact package. Produces an item immediately useful to the situation at hand if unfolded during a crisis (ex: a first aid kit, survival shelter, dry fuel, provisions, flare gun, gas mask, oxygen tank, etc.). Otherwise just waterproof, highly reflective, and really warm.

A Note On Kobolds

Everyone knows there are two main varieties of kobold: dog and lizard. Arguments over which type is the "real" kobold are so common it's become a joke, which is ironic because both forms are the exact same creature. Kobolds have a complex genetic structure that causes them to shift forms in response to external environmental factors.

Most kobolds will say the dog state is their species' true form since it's the shape they take when left to themselves. In dog form kobolds have a distinct sense of self and canine traits like acute senses, fur, and endurance that let them thrive in a variety of ecosystems as resourceful semi-omnivorous persistence predators similar to humans. They use those strengths and their mobility to maintain a widespread but close-knit society of band, family, and clan groups organized around a network of partially subterranean hub cities. It's an efficient arrangement that can last indefinitely unless it's disrupted by exposure to a specific environmental factor, namely dragons.

The presence of a dragon in the area triggers an epigenetic shift in all kobolds within range, causing the exposed individuals to begin metamorphosing into lizard form. The change is agonizing and lasts several weeks as the kobold's body gradually reconfigures itself, completely consuming and rebuilding the skeleto-muscular and neurological systems. In lizard form kobolds lose a large portion of their individuality, falling into a set of closely unified thought patterns almost like a hive mind that's focused on the dragon. They become much more sedentary, living as purely carnivorous ambush predators in age-separated but otherwise egalitarian groups that keep as close to the dragon as possible without being eaten. If an individual kobold strays far enough from the colony they'll begin to revert to dog form, but it's so difficult to leave once the change is complete that it rarely happens.

With its effects and implications the change is obviously a subject of controversy and dread in kobold communities. Though some clans view dragons as holy creatures and consider their influence a blessing, most abhor the loss of self and agency that lizard form inflicts. Rumors of a dragon approaching or settling in an area will spark mass migrations out of the region to escape its influence and sometimes, in the case of wealthy cities, extremely lucrative contracts to slay the beast before it can nest.

1d12.12 Fuels

1.1 Firewood
1.2 Driftwood
1.3 Charcoal
1.4 White charcoal
1.5 Woodchips
1.6 Sawdust
1.7 Pellet fuel
1.8 Biomass briquettes
1.9 Dried dung
1.10 Straw
1.11Grass clippings
1.12 Fallen leaves
2.1 Hemp
2.2 Bamboo
2.3 Kudzu
2.4 Peat
2.5 Corn
2.6 Potatoes
2.7 Algae
2.8 Kelp
2.9 Mycelium
2.10 Raw biomass
2.11 Insect biomass
2.12 Tallow
3.1 Whale oil
3.2 Pollen
3.3 Nectar
3.4 Sugar
3.5 Maple syrup
3.6 Honey
3.7 Beeswax
3.8 Pine tar
3.9 Rosin
3.10 Paper
3.11 Styrofoam
3.12 Old tires
4.1 Municipal solid waste
4.2 Woodgas
4.3 Biogas
4.4 Natural gas
4.5 Propane
4.6 Butane
4.7 Cooking oil
4.8 Kerosene
4.9 Naptha
4.10 Turpentine
4.11 Gasoline
4.12 Diesel
5.1 Biodiesel
5.2 Glow fuel
5.3 Nitromethane
5.4 Aviation fuel
5.5 Hydrazine
5.6 Heavy fuel oil
5.7 Crude oil
5.8 Tar
5.9 Creosote
5.10 Coal
5.11 Coke
5.12 Oil sand
6.1 Fire ice/clathrate
6.2 Paraffin
6.3 Sterno
6.4 Hexamine tablets
6.5 Alcohol
6.6 Bioethanol
6.7 Beer
6.8 Cider
6.9 Wine
6.10 Aguamiel
6.11 Applejack
6.12 Brandy
7.1 Gin
7.2 Vodka
7.3 Pneumatics
7.4 Hydraulics
7.5 Steam
7.6 Winding spring
7.7 Flywheel
7.8 Wet-cell battery
7.9 Dry-cell battery
7.10 Li ion battery
7.11 Magnetic induction
7.12 Human/muscle power
8.1 Solar
8.2 Wind
8.3 Tidal/wave
8.4 Hydroelectric
8.5 Geothermal
8.6 Water
8.7 Seawater
8.8 Hydrogen
8.9 Slush hydrogen
8.10 Helium
8.11 Deuterium
8.12 Tritium
9.1 Plutonium
9.2 Uranium
9.3 Thorium
9.4 Polonium
9.5 Caesium
9.6 Strontium
9.7 Exhausted fuel rods
9.8 Pelletized nuclear waste
9.9 Gold
9.10 Silver
9.11 Mercury
9.12 Diamonds
10.1 Sapphires
10.2 Quartz
10.3 Obsidian
10.4 Opals
10.5 Pearls
10.6 Amber
10.7 Fossils
10.8 Bones
10.9 Blood
10.10 Ichor
10.11 Memories
10.12 Souls
11.1 People
11.2 Death
11.3 Scarecrows/straw effigies
11.4 Grain offerings
11.5 Libations
11.6 Incense
11.7 Hymns
11.8 Faith
11.9 Terror
11.10 Despair
11.11 Agony
11.12 Joy
12.1 Hope
12.2 Laughter
12.3 Lust
12.4 Gunpowder
12.5 TNT
12.6 Napalm
12.7 Molten salt
12.8 Lava
12.9 Shadows
12.10 Antimatter
12.11 Eggs
12.12 Clam chowder